igsterism

A breath of fresh air

2011-09-02T06:06:00.000-07:00

I attended a vocal training course recently. And all this while, I realised that I've been singing without breathing properly. I needed to take in a bigger breath to support my diaphragm and let it out slowly to be able to hit my notes with greater intensity and duration.

It's something like that. I've found a deeper, more lasting breath. I can breathe easy, I can smile longer, I can look ahead with so much more confidence. This recent breath of fresh air...it comes from a familiar place: the loving hand of God. Whenever I heard the term "He makes all things beautiful, in His time...", I used to roll my eyes...but WHEN??? i used to scream in side me.

But how true that is. God in His infinite wisdom, is really the giver of all things good, precious, beautiful and of such perfection even in apparent flaws. And it really does come, in His time. There had to be a lot of preparation though... I had to become the person that would be ready to handle such a precious and rare diamond.

Reading my previous entry...i realised 2010 was such a year of breaking and moulding and making me into the person that He wanted me to be. And so much has happened since then. I pray that I have been forged into the man and servant that he wants me to be. And the man and servant worthy of such a gift.

Although in getting this gift, there are uncertainties and questions, yet there is an amazing amount of calmness and peace that I've never felt before. Divine provision no doubt. The journey with this precious gift seems to be paved with shaping, moulding, patience building, respect and a mutual understanding that before this seemed completely incomprehensible and utterly unattainable, yet what an exciting journey it is!

With confidence, boldness and courage, I can truly say, "He makes all things beautiful, in His time!". How great is our God! :)

Jesus, continue to be the centre of it all.

Your Love Endures Forever

2010-07-29T01:35:00.001-07:00

For the longest time I wondered what it would be like to be able to write worship songs. Now I know!

The essence of this song comes from a time of worship in the wee hours of the morning with my guitar. Based on Psalm 89 and 84.

Image by loswl via Flickr

Got together with Daniel Sim and we worked out what became our first collaboration worship song.

We're gonna sing it this Sunday in church...will put it up after that I guess :)

Hopefully this is a first of many to come!

Truth in the inward parts

2010-07-22T23:26:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

Psalm 51 : 6

Behold, you desire truth in the inward parts
And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.

This is part of one of my favourite psalms. It's a psalm of repentance after David had done something really wrong with Bathsheba and killed her husband in battle. Huge acts of Sin, yet the Lord forgave Him, but not without the consequences of David's action.

Being true to yourself is something really really important. Many just live their lives just going day to day without really knowing who or what they really are. God asks us to be true. To be honest. To be that one person, whoever we are.

I find myself constantly having to make sure that what i do and why i do it is for the real reason and the right reason. Recently I've made some mistakes. Not stuff I'm proud off.
I think the biggest lesson God is making me learn is so that i don't make the same mistake again. Walk true to Him, in obedience to Him and with integrity and truth of character. You have made me to learn Wisdom in the innermost part Lord. Thank You.

I've hurt some people. People that I'm very close to. There's an empty feeling inside. How is it that you mean the best and yet what actually happens comes out horribly wrong.

Emptiness is a horrible thing. Makes you question a lot of things. Makes you want to do a lot of things. But that verse speaks so clearly yet again. In the hidden parts. The parts that people don't see. The parts of your mind, soul and spirit that only you and God see. Wisdom there will make so much difference. If not in wisdom, folly and hurt are sure to follow. Pain, abandonment and such tragedy.

I think of Bathsheba's husband. Uriah. He was so loyal to David. Refused to even go see his wife but chose to stay in the castle grounds to be near his King. So much of sacrifice, so much of loyalty and devotion. And David kills him. Not by his own sword, but he could just have done the same. How could David? How could he have done such a horrendous crime? Against someone who loved him so deeply?

It's so easy to point the finger at David. But sometimes we do the same. There's no wisdom in the act...and sometimes we are so blind to crime that has been committed. It takes a Nathan to point it out. And call a spade a spade.

That moment of realisation is a scary thing. To realise the consequences of our action. Action not by thought, but by some outlandish will that seems so odd that it actually originated from within us. It's so scary to think what could actually be inside us, and comes out without knowing.

Repentance means to turn around 180 degrees. Not to do it again. Never. Walk away from that action never to have it stain your hands with blood again.

I need to be healed. And I pray healing for all those hurt too. Only the love of God. The redemptive power of a love that has no measure, can begin to heal. Lord Jesus, let your healing begin.

5000 friends on facebook?

2010-02-09T18:22:00.001-08:00

Facebook lets you amass 5,000 friends, and there are likely youth out there who feel that's not nearly enough. But according to a new study, humans aren't genetically capable of handling that many relationships. The study, authored by Robin Dunbar, a professor of Evolutionary Anthropology for England's Oxford University, found that people can handle a maximum of 150 friends, no matter how social they are. Even in our prehistoric past, humans tended to self-organize in groups of 150. Any bigger, Dunbar insists, and the social structure tends to deteriorate. "The interesting thing is that you can have 1,500 friends but when you actually look at traffic on sites, you see people maintain the same inner circle of around 150 people that we observe in the real world," Dunbar says.

interesting...

2010-02-09T18:18:00.000-08:00

Amazing how what we say can be edited to distort it's meaning :)

Watch this video. Good edit job tho :

I'm alive!!

2010-01-20T19:01:00.000-08:00

Yes it has been a while since my last Blog post. Thought it's time to revive it again. It's also in line with starting the Blog for my God, Revelation and Man class at BCM. Juggling that and working in church...in one sense is complimentary...but sometimes they both demand my immediate attention...so I really have to spread myself.

But by God's grace I'm surviving. There has been a lot of changes in the last year. 2009 made me ask a lot of questions. Some I have answers to, some I don't. Yet its all a process of building i guess. Breaking and building.

Read a tweet yesterday "God will rarely do anything great with a man who has not been broken". It hit me like a ton of bricks. Have I really been broken? Am i ready for something great in Him? Or am i still having attitudes and ideas that are my own, and not completely surrendered at the foot of the cross...

I guess 2010 also has a lot of hard questions.

Serving...

2009-03-06T01:57:00.000-08:00

I got this little devotional and it hit me like *wham*! It said what professional life has been till now... read la. After that I was like "he he he... I definitely did the right thing!"

Serving from the Heart
by Rick Warren

From now on if you listen obediently to the commandments that I am commanding you today, love God, your God, and serve him with everything you have within you, he'll take charge of sending the rain at the right time .... Deuteronomy 11:13-14 (MSG)

*** *** *** ***

Repeatedly, the Bible says to "serve the Lord with all your heart." God wants you to serve him passionately, not dutifully. People rarely excel at tasks they don't enjoy doing or feel passionate about. God wants you to use your natural interests to serve him and others.

How do you know when you're serving God from your heart?

The first telltale sign is enthusiasm. When you're doing what you love to do, no one has to motivate you, or challenge you, or check up on you. You do it for the sheer enjoyment. You don't need rewards, or applause, or to be paid, because you love serving in this way.

The opposite is also true: When you don't have a heart for what you're doing, you're easily discouraged.

One characteristic of serving God from your heart is effectiveness: whenever you do what God wired you to love to do, you get good at it. Passion drives perfection. If you don't care about a task, it is unlikely that you'll excel at it.

On the other hand, the highest achievers in any field are those who do it because of passion, not duty or profit.

We've all heard people say, "I took a job I hate in order to make a lot of money, so someday I can quit and do what I love to do." That's a big mistake. Don't waste your life in a job that doesn't express your heart.

Remember, the greatest things in life are not things. Meaning is far more important than money. The richest man in the world once said, "A simple life in the fear-of-God is better than a rich life with a ton of headaches" (Proverbs 15:16 MSG).

Don't settle for achieving "the good life," because the good life is not good enough. Ultimately, it doesn't satisfy. You can have a lot to live on, and still have nothing to live for. Aim instead for "the better life" - serving God in a way that expresses your heart.

Figure out what you love to do - that which God gave you a heart for - and then do it for his glory!

The tabernacle

2008-11-20T03:47:00.001-08:00

My Pastor is taking band with her to minister at a conference on Saturday so I'm looking after their practice tonight... and i'm doing a short devotion with them before practice... was asking God what to share...and He directed me towards the tabernacle. The outer courts and the inner courts and the priests and how it was so crowded in the outer courts with ppl slaughtering their animals for sacrifice etc. But the inner courts was just for the priests and the holy of holies was just for the high priest once a year...read Exodus 25 - 30 and it's so detailed, the instructions. Then i looked up a picture of the tabernacle and it made so much sense.

Very much like our worship now... its all noisy and crowded outside...but we are all priests now, and we need to step into that quiet place where we minister to the Lord in worship...and into the Holy of Holies where the presence of the Lord is and where He speaks and ministers to us.

Check out this song :

Take me past the outer courts
And through the holy place
Past the brazen altar
Lord I want to see your face

Pass me by the courts of people
And the priests who sing their praise
I hunger and thirst for Your righteousness
But its only found in one place

So take me into the Holy if holies
Take me in by the blood of the Lamb
So take me into the Holy of Holies
Take the coal, cleanse my lips
Here I am

Away... to hear your voice...

2008-11-18T02:58:00.000-08:00

With all I am...

2008-11-18T02:52:00.000-08:00

In moments like these...
I sing out a love song
A love song to Jesus

In moments like these...
I sing out to you
I sing out my all
I sing out my everything
All of me
Every ounce
Every fibre of being
Everything that I have is yours Lord

My very purpose of existence
When you founded the world
YOU thought of me

When you laid the core of this earth
YOU were thinking of me
When you hung your head and died
YOU, My God, My King, My saviour, was thinking of me.

What could I ask for?
What more is there Lord?
What more do I need but your love, your grace, your mercy

My eyes looks up to heaven
To wonder upon your greatness
To witness your beauty
To fathom your infinite wisdom and power

Who am I Lord?
That YOU see me worthy to be called a Son of the Living God
An heir, to eternity of worship with you
What greater reward than to know you and Worship MY JESUS!!

With all I am.
I worship you my KING!!

Alone

2008-11-18T02:29:00.002-08:00

For the second time this year Pastor left me in charge of the service. The Pastors are away in Singapore. Ps Benjamin Yeoh preached... but there was a little scare...Worship started and he still wasnt here yet!! Midway through the second song he came...PHEW!! I was thinking of a sermon I could pull up if I needed to...or just might share my testimony...and focus on Passion for God...suprisingly...actually not suprisingly...but it was the Holy Spirit...Ps Ben also spoke about the same thing. Passion for God...

Well the interview last week went pretty well...7 pastors from the CDC interviewed me... and 3 other... but dunno why they asked me most of the questions...haha... but it was good.. I actually enjoyed it... I guess I really feed of these things... extrovert in the true sense of the word!! haha...

Youth Culture class is coming to an end next Monday (24/11). Its been interesting..learnt a lot... and still learning...Pastor Julie Koo is super inspiring la.. Amazing how she has such a PERSONAL relationship with God and it just flows out to everything that she does...

She hasn't taken a salary from the church in more than 20 years!! That is truly a life of faith!! I wonder what I would do if God asked me to do that...woah scary... But my life in His hands...I guess there isnt anything to worry about...

Dunno what happened after class...I was really freaking out... Think it was the combination of not enough sleep and sugar overload...was seriously saiko!! haha... ok back to normal today I guess...

I see Jeremy and Sui li and Flora growing in the Lord... nice to see that in class also... There is an amazing number of ppl who just hunger and thirst for God so much!! And their burden for young people is so deep and searching...truly amazing!!

Ok worship leading this Sunday...speak Lord...I'm listening... what songs do YOU want this Sunday...? One of it I know is below... the rest?

2008-11-18T02:29:00.001-08:00

It's going in...

2008-11-05T23:51:00.000-08:00

This Monday... two big things in my life are happening.

1. At 2.30 pm, I have an interview. With the Assemblies of God of Malaysia Central District. It's my credentials interview. I'm not really worried about it, but its kinda hanging there.. These people have the power to decide if the A/G of Malaysia will recognise me or not... haha...its a bit scary but exciting at the same time...another milestone...

2. I will be submitting all my forms and stuff to the Bible College of Malaysia to apply to be a student studying a Bachelor of Theology. It's gonna be long, a full time student does it in 3 years... I, depending on the number of subjects I take per semester...might do it in 6 to 7 years... not really in a hurry...I just hope I don't run out of steam...

It's no turning back now!

When I speak your name...

2008-11-05T23:45:00.000-08:00

Worship last Sunday

2008-11-05T21:58:00.000-08:00

I led in worship last Sunday... I was off the Thursday before and I just took my guitar at home and started playing. I already knew one of the songs I was going to sing...it was a new song. Quite powerful...

Here it is : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPKzCyc0GXY

Was playing the Saviour of the world DVD by Planetshakers...and that song really spoke to me. Saviour of the world... the lyrics so true!!

Amazingly the songs just flowed...I've spent hours figuring out my songlist for Sundays..but sometimes when you're so in tune with God's spirit it just comes across so fast...but sometimes its good that it takes time too... He can really speak so clearly...

As soon as I finished one song God popped in the next one... was really amazing!!

Then Sunday comes. Usually I come in about 8.20 or so and spend time in prayer and preparing myself for the service, even if I am not worship leading... but this Sunday I only arrived at 8.45...seriously late... then had to prepare the youth video and YADS promo video etc...

So I did something i haven't done in a while. I didnt prepare myself fully... so we practiced at 9 am...then prayed with the group. I had a nagging feeling something wasnt right. I was worried about the video and if the multimedia team had it ok...just couldnt focus.

Then worship time came... and it was ok... but it just wasnt the same as it was in the video... I tried to play harder, sing louder get things going...but something was just missing... then I heard His voice... Something like "nothing you do can make it better or worse, you're not relying on Me."

It hit me like a tonne of bricks... I was so concentrating on the technicalities, the right chords, the right things to say...that I somehow left God out of worshipping God. It was like God gave me a knock on the head and said, "Boy, do you remember who you are worshipping, or are you just follwong routine?" And I realized I had fallen into the trap...

Sometimes you get so much in a routine...or a fixed way of doing things, it leaves little room for the Spirit of God to move... when it should really be God running the show, His Spirit leading...and I fell in that trap. All this is going on in my head as we're singing the 3rd and 4th song...

By the last song I completely surrendered to God...and I felt a difference...and I told myself that should never happen again. I shouldn't come not 100% prepared. I should submit to the Spirit and not run things... when it's worship...it should never be a show!

He really taught me a lesson last Sunday.

I'm worship leading again on 23 Nov... it's going to be different...

some highlights of the year

2008-08-20T02:38:00.000-07:00

My first official preaching session at youth combined... spoke on 'Connecting with Friends' thus the verse you can see...

The YADs Heritage Hunt to Melaka...an awesome team effort by the committee most of those who went had loads of fun and really enjoyed the food!

The Very Eventful youth trip to Gua Tempurung for caving...this was loads of fun and I found out how much I like caving! :)

The Paradise Worship Concert live in RCKL. I programmed the lighting...but Jon Chia's shots are really quite nice...i love this one...the contrast of the people on stage and the crowd worshiping!

Din tell you bout this one... a quick 2 day 1 night trip to melaka to celebrate Rannet & Shoby's 1st wedding anniversary. On the way...some excellend durian dusun from Alor Gajah! So yummy!!

Great company...good food...we actually prayed for the Orchard owner before we left as he was a Christian too!

2008 Update :)

2008-08-20T01:40:00.000-07:00

Haha…. Just saw the date of my last post and realized it has almost been a year! It’s August 20^th, 51 weeks since my last post…think that was about Sabah.

Well here’s a quick update by months

Dec 2007

I officially resigned as Project Manager at Ayesha Harben and Associates after almost 4 years of working there. Came in as an executive and somehow I found myself as PM…not prime minister but project manager la... This job has taught me so much! What I didn’t realize was that this job actually was preparing me for my next phase in life…which was to start on Jan 1, 2008.

Jan 2008

Started officially working in Revival Centre, my beloved church as a Ministerial Staff. Taking on the leadership of the Music and Worship, Multimedia, Young Adults, Special Events, PA, Webmaster, assisting the youth and basically any other work that needed to be done.

This is a huge step for me. Something that I knew I would be doing eventually. But to actually get into it...so much fear and trepidation.

One of the first things that happen in church is Ps Benedict Rajan did a weekend with us. And in the Sunday Service, he calls me out (actually he calls me Muthusamy in jest!!) and says this is a year of decision for me and God is giving me 1 Tess 5:24 as a promise…that the God who called me is a FAITHFUL God.

Woah…it hit me big time…and yes. A truly humbling experience…and comforting to…and over the next few months…I was going to be holding on to this verse with all that was in me!!

Feb 2008

I’m still staying in PJ…traveling everyday to church in Ampang is killing me…getting up so early…have to leave by 7am in order to reach church in time…begin looking for a place somewhere nearer to church.

Working in church is a stark reality. I begin to see how things are done…a huge huge difference from the corporate world. But it is so much better a working atmosphere here…

March 2008

One day I’m driving back to my parents place and I pass by this apartments called Tudor Court. I just think to myself that it would be a nice place to stay as it is no near church and quite convenient… but it was just a tought.

Towards the 15^th of March, I’m moving in to an apartment here. God opened the way miraculously. When I went to see the place, I immediately knew that God had kept this apartment for me. Then when my landlady found out I worked in the church…she even gave me a really good discount on the rent! Praise the Lord.

I didn’t have the cash to pay the deposit, but the night before I had to, someone took me to the ATM and withdrew the amount and said God asked him/her to give it to me. Amazing isn’t it? His timing is ALWAYS perferct!

April 2008

Moved into my place…and gradually started getting stuff in. Was a good feeling to finally get my own place…at age 32. My aunty gave me a bed for my birthday…it was a nice bed…but it had no mattress. My mum gave me a 2” mattress that left me have aches all over my body in the morning. Looked at quite a few shops around ampang couldn’t find anything I could afford.

A church member takes me to a place where she knows the owner…and lo and behold I found one I could afford and she even buys me a mattress protector!! Amazing stuff our God can do!

In church, I start work on my first big project, the church camp! It’s a major challenge as things go really smooth at first but later…well see June.

May 2008

Started my first class in the Bible School of Malaysia…Counseling Methodology. Amazing, in depth analysis of technique etc. Learn so much! Its tough getting back to doing assignments etc… but it had to be done…

June 2008

Church camp is fast approaching…after Stephanie and Marissa’s amazing promotion in church…there is an overwhelming registration! 170 ppl register for camp…the all time biggest record for our church!

But, the hotel has run out of rooms. To cut a long story short, after a lot of prayer and so much of sweat and tears…God shows up and saves the day. The camp went reasonably well, people were very satisfied…except for those who stayed in the apartments…but I guess some sort of compromise had to be done…God gave us a really good camp.

It taught me so many things. How it is different when you are working directly for the Lord. How to rely on God and not on your own strength. How you can plan but only God can make it happen!!

July 2008

Get my second huge project…the church 30^th Anniversary Celebrations. Working hard with my committee and trying to get things going…too much details to put down…but I see so many interesting things.

The YADS committee continue to inspire me. We’re planning a heritage walkabout hunt in Melaka…and the girls and guy do it so well! God again turns up…gives us great weather and even let us go by bus and helped us break even and make a RM 12 profit!! I stand in awe of how much these girls pour out of themselves for the Young Adults…so many things are happening! And it can only get better!

Influence conference at GTPJ taught me so many more things. Working with such an amazing team of people…so dedicated, so strong, so focused in prayer and in what God wants us to do. He has great things in store for us!!

Took my second class in BCM. Worship Leading. Ps Lee Meng Chiam is an amazing teacher. He is the worship Pastor of Grace Assembly in Singapore and does things on the acoustic guitar that I have never seen done before…think Jon Koo and Alwin were also stunned! It was just amazing!

I learnt so much from Him…refined my worship leading arts and science much more. Instituted what I learnt in the class straight into the ministry…good things are in store!

August 2008

Which brings us to now. We just finished our first true blue worship concert in RCKL. The Paradise Community Church Band and Ps Matt Heinz came over and did an amazing job! God is so great… will put in pix soon. Good worship, great teaching, lives changed, people touched. The beautiful Hand of God at work again.

Other than the overall execution of the anniversary dinner…I’m currently focusing on the video for it… and I think I’ve got the base idea right. Pastor gave some really good suggestions too…its gonna be good…but its gonna take time and lotsa effort.

Went for the Youth Pastors School. This year it was amazing. Not so out there like the last years…but a really good bunch of people and we’ve kept in touch after that (thanks to facebook!) and the next step is the Youth Culture Class on Mondays

I would have to not to go prayer mtg / bible study every Mondays to attend class, but only till end November. A bit bummed about that…but I think it’s vital I start racking my credits up and doing classes that are relevant to my ministry…

So things are going great…there have been so many miracles that God has done in the last 8 months. No time to write here but it will come up in my sermons soon I guess J

I have grown and matured in the Lord so much in the last 8 years. I have fallen. I have gotten up. I have cried so much. I have been comforted so much. He is with us and will never leave us nor forsake us!

This is truly a new life altogether…

More to come… stay tuned.

2007-08-27T07:42:00.000-07:00

Pulau Sipadan

The next phase

2007-08-27T07:37:00.001-07:00

It’s 9.40 pm. I’m sitting in my office. Outside the rain is pelting down hard. Yet “Rain down on me” is playing on my itunes. I’m in the office but I haven’t been doing any work since about 7.00. Been constantly sms-ing somebody…just day to day, run of the mill, stuff…about 20 smses…back and forth. Was surfing here and there.

I have this vague sense of bittersweetness. A little fear, trembling even. And somehow I ask myself questions that I know only He can answer. I see myself bordering on getting depressed. The Holy Spirit prompted me to move in a different direction so I don’t fall there.

You see I got back at 3.00am last night from Semporna Sabah. Was there for a week for the ending of the DiGi Amazing Malaysian Sabah poject. For once Air Asia let me down and was 2 hours delayed from Tawau. http://www.digi.com.my/aboutdigi/community/cm_about.do

Sabah was good. We took the last day to visit Pulau Sipadan, Kapalai and Mabul. Beautiful islands…yet somehow I just couldn’t relax.

2 days before as all the children were doing their rehearsal. One section of the stage fell collapsed. When I saw that my heart fell like a brick from a ten storey building. These were children. Somebody’s son and daughter. I ran to the stage. About 12 of them were in a hole in the stage, about 4 feet deep. Broken plywood and support beams built by a half-baked vendor is Semporna. It just couldn’t take the load of so many children concentrated in one area.

Eric ran to the same area. Peter was there too. We carried them out to safety. A few had twisted ankles. We suspected one was broken. I mean these were 8 to 12 year olds. How could we let this happen? I thought of my own nephew and niece. I would be raving mad if something like that had happened to them!

It was only God’s grace that saved each one of them. Only 4 had sprained their ankle slightly. No fractures. No punctures. No blood. And all were able to perform the next day. If that had happened on the event day…I can’t event think of the consequences…from the client. From the community…I wouldn’t have forgiven myself. It was just too much at some point. Then I realized God’s goodness and mercy. It flows new every morning! He loves us too much! Even in that tragedy…there was so much good that came out of it. We were able to think on out feet and just manage the situation, the parents, the whole thing. God gave us wisdom at the right time!

I have more or less started my countdown of leaving Ayesha Harben and Associates. This would be my third last project for the DiGi campaign. A few more for the ministry and 2 more for another client. The last 3+ years have been phenomenal at AHA. I have grown so much professionally, personally. As a producer. As an event person. As a PR practitioner. As a strategic thinker.

And I know it’s God’s training ground. In the back of my mind I knew this was all temporary. The call of God has been so strong all my life. I look back and see some pivotal moments in my life. Me going to Singapore. Me deciding to take up the AV part in school. Becoming head prefect. Leadership roles. The MYF back here in KL. Leaving the Methodist Church and coming to Revival Centre.

I remember struggling with that decision. Am I really to leave the Methodist church? Could I possibly be making the right decision? If I were to leave who will stay and fight the fight? To be there for the young people? I now know that God raises people. At the right time and place. To glorify His name, to do His work and will. It’s not about you. It’s about just submitting to His will.

I thank God for Revivl Centre. How much I have grown here. Spiritually…I feel I’ve conquered Mt Kinabalu…and there’s still Everest to go. In January 2008, I’m joining the church full time. My passion for the young people has not died. It fact its grown by leaps and bounds. And suddenly, in the last 7 years, the Worship element of my life has sky rocketed. “Blessed be your name, even when I walk through the wilderness, Blessed be your name”

Worship…oh Worship…where do I start. “Every blessing you have poured out I will turn back to praise!” I just adore Him. I just want to say thank you. When Jesus rode out on a donkey to enter Jerusalem, the people were shouting ‘Praise the Lord. Blessed be the Lord for the Son of David’. The priests asks Jesus how He could let that happen. And He answered: “If they were to keep quiet, the stones in the field will break out in Praise!!”

For who are we compared to the Great Creator! The Maker of the Heavens and the Earth! He is worthy of all praise! He is worthy! For He ALONE is God!! He has no equal!! We mere mortals stand in awe of the Living God…

I’m worshiping leading this Sunday. And I’m excited. I’m so excited. What an honour. What a true priviledge to just lead His people into His presence. As a worship leader..we are to disappear. We are the PVC pipe that leads people to God. No one wants to worry too much about the Pipe. But more so where the pipe is leading them to! Lord make me that channel that leads your people into your presence.

I’ve got so many things I want to plan and do. I don’t know yet if they’re just my plans or if it’s God inspired…but I have this yearning in my heart! This unquenchable fire. So excited to do things for Him. When I was in the Methodist church I thought it the Ministry was one of poverty, of constantly being poor and being that church mouse.

But its not that. The AOG churches have so much to do that’s cutting edge. Production. Youth and Music. Ministry that takes you to higher heights of service, but only for those surrender to servanthood. I read it again and again. Servanthood. For those who want to be great in the Kingdom of God must be a servant of all. Not to sit in lofty seats but to be prepared to go the extra mile…not because of duty or compulsion… but just because we love the name of Jesus. For he first loved us.

Honestly, I’m finding it hard to be motivated in work in AHA. Knowing what lies ahead, I press forward! But I know while I am here I have to give it my all. And I want to end this year with a bang in AHA. To really do cutting edge stuff. You see these last few years, god has been training me for such a time like this. I’m a professional producer in God’s service. Not that I am blowing my own trumpet, but its all about a spirit of excellence. Whatever we do, to do it perfectly well for God, with His guidance.

I was on the committee for the Influence conference. I didn’t get much sleep. Same like work. There were long hours. Same like work. There were trying times. Just like work. But there was something so much more than that! And the end of the whole thing. I was on my knees. Not in prayer but I was re-laying the mic cables on GTPJ’s stage. And I was in tears. I have checked on cables 1000 times before. I have worked out production schedules. I have drawn projection diagrams. But this time it was so much different. For the first time I was doing something professionally for GOD! Not indirectly, but something directly that opens up the way for many into the Kingdom of God. For there first time I realized the verse “you were created for such a time like this”. Read Esther. She was set in that place for a time like that. I read about the begger that “threw aside his coat” when Jesus called Him. And he was healed. His coat was His security. He threw it aside. I can’t wait to jump into this new phase in my life.

How many times before I look at the huge stages and the huge budgets that go out to the DiGi events. And I wish they were Christian events. Why can’t that be a reality?

God speaks in so many ways. From the sea of Sipadan. Where I saw a thousand fish in 2000 colours! Beautiful coral…all God’s creation. From the safety and great weather of the events. From those kids that fell, but were not injured. From the safety getting there and back. From the whole event. How clear He speaks…and here I was wondering why He isn’t speaking to me as much… He IS our amazing God who speaks.

I was wondering why Oliver wasn’t getting a job. Was even feeling frustrated for him. Then I read His blog. I realized how much God was working on oliver’s personal relationship with God. What a special special time he is having right now! It brought tears to my eyes.

I’m going back now…and even now. I hear God’s voice so clearly. His awesome presence. The comfort of the Holy Spirit. So wow. So nice. So amazing. How great is our God!

semporna in sabah

2007-02-07T04:59:00.000-08:00

And we even had a taste of tradionally cooked Bajau food. lotsa seafood...check out the crabs...really yumsums! Amazing hospitality...imagine 4000 people living on stilts above the water...really an amazing experience...
this is one of the calmest places in semporna, sabah...possible the site of one of the next amazing malaysians programme

back with a vengeance!

2007-02-07T04:43:00.000-08:00

Hi all,

I'm back. Finally...its been a long long journey since the rainforest festival. Many trials and learnings...grown a lot individually, learnt a lot of painful lessons..adn some not so painful ones... have lost some friends and gained some new ones.

Saw some of my closest friends getting married, some about to get married and some proposing and setting the date and things like that. Pretty interesting stuff. MP and CS are getting married! Woo hoo...they finally set the date...he proposed to her quite romantically... http://when-two-become-one.blogspot.com/ ...never thought he had it in him...but loves makes you do strange things ai guess..and they are definitely ready to get married...for sure. gotta pray real hard for them...but I'm sure God is having his way in their lives...

Kinda makes me think when is my turn...think I'm ready...but then again...God is still working unb my life... Have made some pretty hard decisions recently...and have decided that I am going to stick by them...tell you more when I have actually set those plans into action. It's gonna call for some drastic actions...but hey...God is for me who can be against me...

Been thinking also about the people that I have upset in the past... a certain group of them... Its sad that I dont know how but I managed to upset them quite badly... i think sometimes if i could have done things differently, said it differently...but i guess it all happens for a reason. And God is in control. So I am not worried. If you're reading this. I dunno why things happened the way it did. But I wished it otherwise, and never did I have any bad intentions... guess you all know me well enough to know that's the honest truth. But the past is the past. Its a new year. Its a new phase in my life...so if ever i can make up for it, you just have to ask.

Work has thrown me new challenges. I can honestly say that i have covered every state in this country and encountered many many unique situations. and I have learnt and grown so much. Professionally, personally and even physically! But the gym hopefully can help me there... when i do get around to going for classes there tho...

renovations are just about done in the office... its looking pretty nice. And more responsibilities are being thrown my way...but I have to be up to the task. Looking forward to the langkawi and sabah and melaka projects...that might be fun and if the other nationwide one kicks off...wlll lets just say that it will definitely be a challenge...

Church is great...have to plan my time better. But I have my priorities in the right place. So watch this place... More happenin stuff just round the corner.

2006-07-11T08:32:00.000-07:00

The Rainforest Festival. Really nice place to be!

30 and life

2006-07-11T08:05:00.000-07:00

It's almost 11pm. I'm still in the office. Leaving early tomorrow morning for Penang. Now that's going to be huge as it involves a whole lot of planning. But I have faith in God. And it will come to pass to give him glory! I am sure of it! Just like in Lunas at the event...people had put chilli and onions in the ground to not let it rain...but I prayed and asked to take the full glory for the great weather! And guess what...he did...not one...but 2 huge rainbows! Not that's truly amazing I tell you!

Well just finishing compiling all the documents and videos I need for the penang job. Am tired. Not just now...but this whole thing. Dunno how long more I can take this constant momentum of madness. Thought last weekend at the Rainforest festival would have been a break...but it turned out it drained me even more. So little sleep and so much of sweat. It was an awesome time though... The music, the people, just the whole experience of it. Bosses were really nice to pay for the whole thing! Guess it was an education of sorts.

Some good did come out of it. Not only am I REALLY familiar with the streets of Kuching and Santubong... but something did pique my interest there. I guess it could be just initial reactions, you know like the knee jerk thing. But I dunno. Just gotta pray about it, and see where it goes. But I have decided that I'm not gonna sit back and take things lying down anymore...not that I have so much time to sit back and lie down anytime! Guess the worse thing that could happen is a blatant no....so what? he he...at least I tried!

Really need a break again...it's amazing how tense I get so fast! Guess the whole stress of SV leaving is also taking its toll. Guess I just relied on him a bit too much. Should have kept a closer eye on things. Life teaches you weird lessons.

Been thinking about this whole turning 30 thing. Its just a number...but somehow your entire system does slow down a bit. Absolutely detest the weight I am right now...probably eating maggi mee 2 times a day doesn't help! But also the whole 'time is running out' thing. I dont think it is. It will happen in God's time I guess.

My home group kids have been calling/sms-ing. Been away from church for 4 weeks. That;s a long time. Wonder what how all of them are doing. Am not really doing my part there. But I need to pull up my socks and put in my time there! Really miss it. Miss the worship. Miss listening so accurately from God. Need to spend more time reading his word. I religiously carry the Bible everywhere travel...but open it so few times. Must make it a point. His word will be the light to my path! I know that for a fact! So am claiming it!

Want to take hold of my destiny...dont know how much more of this I can handle. Where is my destiny Lord? Help me get there!
Missed Monday prayer meeting also. Need to light the fire again.

1 am and the OC

2006-06-20T09:44:00.000-07:00

The last 2 days I've been working till almost 11.00 pm. I love what I'm doing but its really stressful now. In 8 hours I'll be flying to penang to do an event in Lunas Kedah on Friday. Like where? Yeah, Lunas...really the boondocks but we have to do the project there. Am looking forward to putting the DiGi colours all ove the place there...

But enought about work...after all...I'm sitting here at 1 am, watching the OC and typing this. Had lunch NJ the other day with someof the gang. It was kinda fun, but that girl has changed a lot, and only she is realising it. Think it's reality kicking in, after all, she been living in a cocoon when she was with me, now she's on seventh heaven...

But enough about her... theres so much more to life than that. Think I'm not having much of a life out there other than work. But I'm finding the joy in little things....the joy of playing with new laptops, watching the OC, seeing so much of this country, not sleepingmuch, the joy of watching Argentina playh football, the frustration watching England play, you know the simple things. I think how blessed i am. I think how much I;m doing that so many other people can only dream about.

Church is becoming even better. Finally the music comittee is coming together and we;re putting things really nicely together! Its so much God gonna do, I'm so sure of that.

ZM used to call once in a while. Now she's attached I'm no longer on the face of this earth...hahaha...not really a big change...but that;s what happen to people i guess. They forget friends once they;re attached. But it;s natural i;m sure. Think its a humanreaction. But what will happen when I meet her I wonder...

ok gotta go pack...watch England play at 3 am...and leave in the morning...

be back soon. This life is really good...it can olny get better!

From Lake Chini to Gurney Drive

2006-03-13T21:14:00.000-08:00

It's been 2 very long weeks. After all the hullabulla in in lake Chini and the chaos there, I'm sitting in the evergreen laurel hotel on gurney drive and trying to get some work done. In the last 2 weeks, i've worked right next to the kuala terengganu beach, the kuantan beach and now next to the penang beach, and not once has even the white edges of my toe nails got salty from the touch of seawater. I havent even had the time to go for a swim in the pool. And tasik chini was the worst. I really don't know how we pulled it off, but we managed to cart 160 people on many tiny boats to an orang asli settlement int he middle of the lake and do an event there. And this time there was no Vim to stick chilli in the ground to 'stop the rain'. It was all my God's doing! Yeehah! He is just amazing...it was an absolutely perfect day!

Penang is a little more relaxed...A bit too relaxed. The real work start from 5 pm later right until the end of the event tomorrow night. I'm praying for real good weather too. So far it's been really really HOT! But the project is fun and I'm enjoying myself. A bit sad that I have to give away my brand new toys. Am using a state of the art TOshiba M100 dual procesor and a whole load of other reallynice stuff...but I have to leave it behind here in headquarters of the project in Penang for them to use. Sigh.

Have to psyche bossie to buy me one. It's really really nice. Sigh.

I miss KL. I miss my home group. Finally can make it this week. But back in Kl only on thursday late night. And weekend is gonna be hectic. Hopefully can catch up with some friends. Have had nothing of a social life the past few months.

My birthday was spent watching them put up the stage in terengganu and supervising the truss setup. Sigh. But the office people did something real nice. After the event they surprised Zaidi and Sunil and ena and I with a little birthday bash at the hotel. Our birthdays all kinda fall around the same time. So it was quite nice of them. They made orchid garlands for us, made us cut a cheesecake and opened a couple of bottles of wine. Really sweet of them. And then it was back to work! Sigh...We only finished out meeting at almost 2 am last night and this morning there was loads of stuff to do. But managed to squeeze in a really nice bak kut teh for breakfast! he heh e....nice stuff.

Ok I should actually work on my programme now. Need it for tomorrow;s event. Lord, please grant us really good wether tomorrow? Looking forward to giving you ALL the glory again...

After that...KL here I come!

Civilization...

2006-02-20T03:55:00.000-08:00

I'm back from Mukah. It's over! Finshed the project there. Don't have to go back there! Yeehah! Dunno if I will miss that place. We'll see lah.

Had a reallyh long wait before getting back to KL yesterday. A plane got grounded on the runway in Kuching and delayed all the ther flights. So only got to bed at 2.45 am. Tired like crazy.

The project went well though...only mistake was the position of the fireworks. Somehow I thought it would be so much more to the left, but it was more like behind lamin dana...and then the wind carried it some more...so it went just like that. But I give all Glory to God! I prayed so hard that it won't rain. And it didnt! My God didn't let me down. Bossy went and poked chili in the ground. I refused to have anything to do with it. My God shall provide all my needs! Why look around when He is the God that invented the sun, sand, rain and everything else! God you are just magnificent Lord!!

Mukah gave me some time with my Bible though. Not so much the frentic pace on KL...but since I was staying at the venue I could spend some quality time with Him! And it was nice.

I thought I'd really enjoy coming back to KL...and I'm really glad I'm back...but somehow the pace of it...the event on the 24th and Mano's wedding on the 25th...think I'm beggining to get quite stressed.

The plus side is that bossy said they are going to get me a new phone! Yay! And she wants to send me to the Rainforest festival in July! Woo Hoo! Always wanted to go... Now the office is sending me...how cool is that!

I miss my home group though... Feel so bad I wasn't there on the 1st HG of this year. But will make it up to them this Friday. I must. I have to be there for them. I want to be there for them.

Going through my pot event blues now...Feel a bit sad about things...but I guess things are really better coz Clare is back. She is such a help! KG is still not the same with me. I think the recent episode is getting her thinking again. Bugs me like crazy. But Lord, I'm leaving it up to you. You do what is best in this situation. I'm leaving it totally at your feet Lord. I cant do much else, you do what you see fit Lord!

Next is the announcement on 24th! It's gonna be great. I just hope we can execute it perfectly! Lord...empower me. No one else can do it but you Lord!

I wasn't elected into the deacon board. I'm relieved actually. I dunno why. Maybe its my timing. Just so much of my time is work now. Not much time for anything else. Must find some time to find a girlfrend lah! ha ha ha.... Think soon, Very soon. But I know it's His will. He really go tme thinking. BUt what else does he have in store for me?

But the board looks really good. Good people. Humble people. God fearing people! Excited to serve with them. Am a bit worried bout the Music thing. Have to lean on God so much for this. There are people that are so much more musically inclined! But I beleive God made me for such a time like this! I'm gonna step into it and let His light shine! Shine Jesus Shine! Woo Hoo!

Going home now. Got prayer meeting. Speak today Lord. Just wanna spend some quality time with you Lord! Your're my strength! My source! My redeemer! Where would I be without you Lord? Love you so much. So So much.

Bali...

2006-02-06T03:13:00.000-08:00

The bunch that had a party of a time in bali! Boy was it a good time...

Brain Freeze!

2006-02-06T02:50:00.001-08:00

Have you ever had so much in your head that you feel like you just want to explode? Well...it really feels like that now.

I'm really torn right now. Yesterday church was good. But here I am contemplating going into the church full time. Well it can't happen immedeatly. I have a lot to settle in terms of getting someone to replace me at work. But work is jut really good right now.

Am leaving for Penang at 7.30 am trow. Means I have to leave here by 6 to be at the airport. Sigh. Come back on the last flight out and have to leave on the first flight in on Wednesday to Sarawak. Back on thursday. Then Saturday it's off to Kuala Terengganu. This week is going to be long. And then it's 6 days in Sawarak starting from next wednesday. It's just crazy. But so much to do.

I'm really glad Clarissa is back at work, at least the budgets and all will be taken care of. Paperwork won't be so heavy and I can concentrate on the Projects and putting them together. And I suddenly have diarrhea now...man must be the maggi mee goreng I had for lunch.

Benny's dad died. He's on his way back from Japan. Poor thing. Will go over to Rawang later and visit him. Benny must be just torn apart. He's not just a supplier. He's become a good friend. Someone who is going through a lot. But I hope he feel better now.

Mano's weding is coming nearer. With all this traveling it's also quite hectic to keep thingking about that. But it's a once in a lifetime thing. So I must be there for her. See to it that all the loose ends are tied up. It's hard. Really hard. She is wuite stubborn and just won't see it any other way. Well, I guess God is the only one that can get to her. Mummy is quite stressed too. She looks so harried. Guess everyone's tension is just so high now. Hope all goes ok once the relatives start arriving and stuff get busier.

Which brings me to my question. Where does my future lie? Corporate world and be a preacher? Or go full time. I won't lie that I'm not afraid. I know my future is in His hands. And I have no doubt whatsoever that He will show me the way. It' just a bit lonely now. I wish I had someone I could speak to that really knows what I'm feeling like. Peter has been a real help. Thank God for bringing him into the office. He has been a good person to talk to. But I guess I want to hear from God straight. I have asked Him and am waiting for a reply. I think Sarawak is going to be my alone time with Him. When I am sitting there on the deck of lamin dana next to the tellian river in sarawak, I think I'll be able to hear him clearly. So Lord, speak. Your servant is waiting.

On another note, also a contributer to the brain freeze. Met with Sham on Sat night. Spoke about the she getting married situation. I guess I said my peace. And am sure she undertands. It will take some time to get used to the idea. But I will. And I may just end up going for the wedding after all. But its gonna get some getting used to!

Miss terence boy. He wasn;t free when I was, and I wasnt free when he was. Need to sit and talk to that boy...it's been to long.

In the mean time by head feels so heavy from all this thinking. Lord. I'm waiting. Speak.

Brain Freeze!

2006-02-06T02:50:00.000-08:00

KL Pac and stuff

2006-01-26T02:17:00.000-08:00

Went to check out the KL Performing Arts Centre for an event...nice place. Could very easily do my wedding reception there...if I knew who I was getting married to! he he he... Lots of glass, natural lighting a nice outdoor venue...man would be cool. Sms-ed Sham and told her thats a nice place to do the wedding...but I guess she's looking at different places as there was no reply. still havent decided if I'm going for the wedding or not. Well people might look at me funny coz a lot of them actually knew we were together...and contrary to public opinion, I'm not that thick skin... well see first lah...see my mood arounbf august...lets see whether i'm in town or not first!

It's angie's brithday tomorrow. they are celebrating in loft tonight...Don't thinkI'll go...think the age is cathching up...don't like these loud places anymore...but it is Angie...so I might just send some flowers over tomorrow or something. Or give her the massage coupon! he he....

Man my butt is aching... so much of work today I'm just sitting here and typing typing typing...had to run to the studio and get them to ammend stuff all.. think i have to run around a little and make some noise.

Kancil girl is still here so I might just kacau her kau kau...but poor thing...she sat through a 4 hour meeting today...but Nokia, here we come! Speaking of Nokia...the N70 looks real nice...he he he...

My sis' wedding is on 25th Feb. Looking forward to that. Need a nice female MC to partner me. Someone who I got Chemistry with. Shoby isn't that bad I guess. Have to audition her first...he he he...

Man this week has been really long days in the office...poor peter...he has been working away real hard too...glad to have a good Christian in the office...really helps...and keeps me in check also...our lunch conversations are quite good too...talk about God's will and our lives and his life and all that...

Meeting the bucnh at grand city for our regualr session. yay...I finally get my bali pictures...that's going up soon! he he he...

ok finishing up here and gonna run out. Poor Kancl girl..she's still working...anyway...I'm outta here!

Party on People!

New year,new look

2006-01-26T02:03:00.000-08:00

Well its one more day to CNY. Can't wait for the holiday...it's been a really long 2 weeks. Feels like a month already! Chose my songs for Sunday...it's gonna be great! Got "Salvation is here" ...I love that song...hope it goes well with the people...just gonna commit it to God and let Him take control.

My friend li sun (in the blue sari below) got her hair died for some photo shoot in Nona magazine or something...when I saw her that night...I was like woah...she looks like some funky japanese girl. There were like 4 colours on it - light brown, blonde, streaks of red and a darker brown. I mean i was really proud of her. Finally she had done something really bold and so unconventional. Well maybe it didn't really suit her...but what a refreshing look and change! But of course li sun being li sun was freakingout like nobody's business! I mean she was DEVARSETASTED...the exact way she pronounces it. And almost in tears...the last I heard she had already dyed it back to black. Well, black hair suits her and she looks quite attractive with black hair...but I tell you... she should have at least kept it for a month or so...but I guess that's why I am me and she is she lah...

Have been slowly establishing my new look too. I'm wearing corduroy pants and a cotton chinese top to work today...think I really like cotton. It's cooling and nice and establishes my new look very nicely. Have to gradually concert my wardrobe to cotton and earthy tones.

Finally sent NSA an email. It was a general one... to all those who attended Anushia's thingy... but the what I said...i expect a reply very very soon...he he he...can't help it if I have the power! :)

Pastor Dan is leaving the church to another one in Sri Hartamas. So a lot of work is being spread out. He has asked me to head the Music ministry...its gonna be a challenge but i guess with God's help all things are possible! I'm kinda excited about that... and already I have some ideas...but with all my traveling that's gonna start soon...sigh...God I'm leaving it up to you. You take control!

To be continued...

I'm back!

2006-01-25T03:39:00.000-08:00

Woo Hoo! I'm back!...IT's about time right...just have been so busy with wirk and i think they kicked me out for not lodding in...hahaha...but I'm back now...lucky got back door.

Almost all the projects for 2005 is over. Got 3 more closing ceremonies to do in Perlis, Sarawak and Terengganu. And I think I will be celebrating my 30th birthday in Terengganu! he he he...good lah..away from everyone in KL ...sigh..30...that's old man...I used to think I'd be really old if I was 30! But I guess it's just a number...

Looks like this year is gonna be really busy. Already teh projects are getting more and more hectic. Planning the next 5 for this year. And I'm already tired. It's almost 8 pm and I'm sitting in the office just finished a budget planning document and sent to my finance person!

Am really enjoying youth ministry. Jut preached my first proper sermon in RCKL YA. Was really interesting...could really feel God leading me...didn't really know what I was going tos ay otehr than my 3 main points. BUt God really put the sermon together. And Got to use oliver,fergarsen and julius as examples in my message...nice boys! Actuall ...all my HG people are really nice people...and I'm not just saying that coz some of you might be reading this! :P

But I'm really enjoying their company an i think I feel younger too! he he...

Wanna go home and watch american idol auditions...think I'll finish the rest tomorrow. Glad Clare is coming back to work. It takes some pressure of my shoulders. And I'm really glad Peter is working with us now... He is really wuite good finance wise...need to loosen him up a little.

Kancil girl is talking to me ok nowadays...really happy bout that...hopefully the only other one that is upset with me will warm up to me soon...must try....

think this year is going to be exciting. Can't ait for what God has in store for me. Jesus is truly my pilot! Woo hoo...

oh yeah...Sham my ex, the one in the blue sari in the pix below, is getting married on Aug 19...a bt mixed feelings bout that...but As long as she is happy lah...and I think I've moved on enough...and God said He is going to give me a wife that is right for my ministry and me for her ministry! So can't wait for that...

Looking forward to CNY holidays...need a break lah...

Bali was good...but a bit hectic...need a break after 2 weeks of non stop work!

Will choose m songs for unday tomorrow...God...give me the right songs! Wanna praise your name all day long woo hoo!!

ok...going home now...will update more often!

Here we go again!

2005-07-27T01:16:00.000-07:00

Ok...I'm leaving for Muar tomorrow. It's gonna be a long one. The DiGi Amazing Malaysian, Lion Dancer of Johor. Man that's a mouthful! But ready for it I guess. Hope all goes well. p

Got a new youth pastor/worker conference coming up. Thinking of going for that. But need to take 4 days off. Have plenty of leave left, havent taken a single day off this year! But with all the projects back to back...dunno how that's gonna be possible. Hopefully the leave is ok! Looking forward to this, it sounds really good!

Cant wait to eat the Sate and Mee Rebus in muar. It's gonna be nice...going with the whole office ...

Got a summon yesteday. Actually it was more than a year ago, but only got it yesterday. Crazy la these people...so late they issue!

Ok got loads to do...update you more after I'm back I guess!! Party on peepal!

2005-07-21T03:29:00.000-07:00

iggy sandwhich

2005-07-21T03:28:00.000-07:00

who's wedding again?

2005-07-21T03:26:00.001-07:00

mee rebus in muar!

2005-07-21T03:26:00.000-07:00

the F1 freaks

2005-07-21T03:25:00.000-07:00

in mukah, sarawak

2005-07-21T03:23:00.003-07:00

the new look

2005-07-21T03:23:00.002-07:00

the saikos in pd

2005-07-21T03:23:00.001-07:00

with neela at kg

2005-07-21T03:23:00.000-07:00

with the kids at frim

2005-07-21T03:22:00.000-07:00

llew ann's bday

Jaded

2005-07-21T02:53:00.000-07:00

Life is good! A lots been happening since I last blogged. Did I say scandalously busy with work the last time? Well...it has eased up. This week was supposed to be my holiday in Redang. In fact the Wendy bunch is driving up tonight to KT and head on to Perhentian. Yeah found the money to go, but with home group on tomorrow, guess I have to be a responsible and go for that. It's the right thing to do. I know if I honor God in this He will give me an even better holiday!

I mean look at JP. He's in brazil now for a methodist conference then a short holiday in London. See his blessing. Its just amazing. RM's covering his own job and JP's business as well. He must be real busy. He looks like he's coping for now.

Prayer group has been really good. Amazing to see God working so clearly in our lives. Just going to trust Him and wait and see what He's got in store for me.

Work is a little frustrating at the moment but only with God's grace I'm staying calm. But I know it will work out it the end. And yes, thus the title of this anecdote. In the works of the Botox lipped one, Im feeling Jaded. Even when it comes to women. Now that's a bit weird for me right? He he he...but yeah...guess it will happen when it happens lah.

Church is getting exciting. Tried 2 new songs in church and I think the congregation got a bit lost. Will so just 1 new one per Sunday. We're launching the 40 days of community on Sunday. Wonder what God's gonna teach me this time round. Quite exciting!

As for an update in the woman area...nothing new. But being very careful in my realtionships now. Been making similar mistakes recently, not gonna let that happen again!

I need new clothes. Kinda bored with the same stuff week in wek out. Need a transfrmation! But need the cash to do that too! hehehe. We'll see how that goes. Wonder when British india having a sale again. Next week its Muar. At least it isn't as bad as Kuala Gula...now that was really bad...but after that...gulp...Sarawak! Mukah is the epitomy of National Geographic stuff. But I guess the break would do me good.

Probably the nicest thing happening now is my phone! My nice 6630! Woo hoo! Quite the cool. Can do all kinds of things with it...pictures, video, surf, etc... but dunno what the bill's gonna be like. But hey...I need some excitement in my life. Think after Muar...Am definitely gonna di something in early August. I wonder what?

kennet's wedding is coming soon. Will be weird...he's finally getting married. Sounds like fun but dunno what the crowd and the wedding proper is gonna be like. And its 2 days after women's summit! Geez. The whole gang will be down I guess. Might be nice to see everyone. And I need to lose a little weight before that. Need to fit into my kurtha! And I wonder what I'm gonna wear for the garde wedding reception...I'm feeling like cotton....yeah...nice cotton stuff. British India, here I come!

Yawn...sleepy lah. Guess its off to GC to meet the gang! Jaded...and I definitely need a holiday!! Party on peepal!

I need a holiday

2005-05-22T21:55:00.000-07:00

Here I am sitting in the office on a Public Holiday and sort of doing work. So that was done, and now I'm keeping me up to speed on my life.

Well, its again beena while since my last confession...err....I mean blogfession. Been scandalously busy at work...Terengganu the next project and the Journalist of the year awards in between that. Man that's gonna be awesome...the video looks good, decor is gonna be amazing and the programme with jo Kuathas & co is gonna be hilarious! Saw the scrip and couldnt stop laughin.

Think i'm gonna like terengganu...but before that its another week in Kuala Gula...man...that place...well...its just a place lah...cant describe it more!

Kinda stressed with all the work. But on top of that theres church stuff and personal stuff...damn, I really need a holiday.

Went to ipoh on Saturday for Rachel's wedding. Pix up soon. But it was a good break for mum. She looked like she really needed it. It was a really special time. I dont think mum and have ever done this. Just cholling to gether and talking about God and family and life and things. It was really nice to spoil her also. Got her to do her hair up for the wedding and just gave her everything she needed. Was a really special time we shared. And just the rest she needed. I didnt get much rest due to the driving...but it was good having jacob and rannet and shobes there. Though I think rannet was definitely stressed with his sister's wedding and his suddenly grilfriend around...he he...

Drove to taiping during the second half of the FA cup final to drop off shobes. Saw the extra time and penalties there. Just died when paul scholes' penalty was saved. Arsenal really didnt deserve it. Man U played so much better but just couldnt finish it off. That's no way to win a FA cup final. Penalties. Tis utter sadness. Rebuild and try again boys. The next season were gonna bounce back...wait and see.

The KL wedding reception was good. Exhaustng but good. Really was in my element putting the final pieces of the programme together. And actually enjoyed the MCing! So much fun putting them on the spot and getting them to answer questions like that. It was good seeing Pastor Jo and akka again. Miss them la. Such humble people. Gandhi and family too. Such beatiful human beings and its just compounded by their love for God! The kids are so cute! Especially Episode 3.

Speaking of Episode 3, I saw it. Oh just amazing. Left tears in my eyes. How it all just got pieced together. Such brillance. Such a culmination of an era. Just beautful. Now I'm just waiting for them to show all 6 together in the cinema! I'm gonna get all the DVDs!!

Oh... I met someone. Astounding circumstances how I met her. I know she and a certain spiky haired individual will be reading this so I gotta be very careful what I say right. Wrong! He he...this is after all just my thoughts at this very moment! She's on her way back from camp. it's nice to be able to speak to somone about God and just be crazy at the same time. So saiko...this after midnight conversations should be taped and given to the world's best minds to decipher. I bet you they cant! She quite witty...and that giggle I tell you...could melt the heart of someone in cardiac arrest. She's very mature for her age...Something I really admire and respect. Independant yet humble enough to accomodate. Sounds really nice. But we're just getting to know each other ...right? he he... so We'll just take it one step at a time and with a lot of prayer. No rushing at all...not gonna make that mistake again! And as for the mr spikes. Well its fun having him around. But the carpet in his house must be really worn out from all that walking her does when on the phone! Maybe I should sell him carpets and make some money out of it!! he he... or then again...maybe I should just make sure he doesnt drive...especially near BMWs and when 'cats suddenlly cross the road' ! he he....but dude. You're definitely cool man...but you better give me approval quick else I'm gonna have to sit on you and that's not a very nice experience! he he...

hopefully tea works out later.

Ok...its back to work now.

Hot Sugar and RN's knot.

2005-05-03T03:00:00.000-07:00

Ok I'm back from kuala Gula. Man that place is hot. One week of nature was more than enough i tell you!

But there were some really nice highlights. The kids really had a good time. I staed on a chalet which sits on a river wher people go fishing and prawn farms and cockle farms float along. I got to do a night walk in the jungle an saw a huge number of fireflies...the trees were really a glow! Wished I had a nght vision lense on my camera then...

But the heat really got to me. Was dripping in sweat for so long! Everyday...but gradually the event took shape and went very well. Clients were more or less happy. Drove like a mad man back to KL for my big mac and to attend RN's wedding.

The wedding was a really nice affair. She did it quite well and that made a whole difference. Entertainment was good. Food was alright, the companyt at the table was fabulous!

SH, LS and I were at a dff table. But when We saw RM's table free we jumpoed there. Lucky we did coz we had so much fun there. Laughing our heads off all the time was just really nice. Shyam and his GF also contributed greatly to the conversation. The women at our table looked nice and overall a pleasant affair.

Some old friends became new strangers but I guess that's what life has in store sometimes.

Which brngs me to my next thought. When am I gonna tie the knot? Been playing on my mind...but I need to find a woman first! he he he...guess that will happen in God's time. So we'll leave it at that for now.

Man I'm sleepy. Gonna head home to sleep then. Ciao bambinos.

2005-05-03T02:57:00.001-07:00

floating udang farm

2005-05-03T02:57:00.000-07:00

the view from my waterfront chalet

2005-05-03T02:56:00.000-07:00

the kids on the boat ride

2005-05-03T02:55:00.001-07:00

kuala gula after

2005-05-03T02:55:00.000-07:00

kuala gu;a before

2005-04-14T23:17:00.000-07:00

if only it as a holiday...sigh

2005-04-14T23:16:00.000-07:00

the kampung house that costs RM 1050 a night!

2005-04-14T23:15:00.000-07:00

me in the hot sun there!

2005-04-14T23:14:00.000-07:00

the view

2005-04-14T23:12:00.000-07:00

the marshland where we're doing the event

2005-04-14T23:11:00.001-07:00

the view from the chalet

2005-04-14T23:11:00.000-07:00

the chalet

2005-04-14T23:03:00.000-07:00

view from entrance of arayani

Penyu land

2005-04-14T22:51:00.000-07:00

Man...work has been quite busy. No time to write even!

But its been so good. Just got back from Kuala Terengganu. We're having an event there in june, part of the CSR programme. Were gonna teach some 100 oung people how to disassemble a traditional malay kampung house and reassemble it again in a different location.

Its gonna be like a cultural village that will run on its own, propogating the rich cultural heritage that Terengganu has. Now get this. This entire house, there isn't a single nail. That's the beauty of this construction. All the joints are actually made out of mortise and tennon joints and other old joints. And the main beam, about 40 to 50 feet long...is made out of one tree. And is perfectly straight...and is cut by hand!! The wood is meranti, about RM 4,500 per tonne. Really hard and strong, this house would be standing well over 100 years.

So the guy who is doing this, Raja Bahrain...is an amazing architect. Studies in Aussie land, but is really this really interesting character! He met us with white hair, mochasins, whote pants and a striped tweed jacket. An I think his tie was from MCKK or something.

And, he owns this place called Aryani. Now this place is absolutely gorgeous. This is the view from the entrance of aryani.

Ok get this. The cheapest room here is about RM 600, but they only have 20 rooms. Adn most rooms cost RM 1050. People come here, chill by the pool, read, chill by the sea, read, eat and just chill some more. There is absolutely no entetainment other than a live gamelan on weekends for an hour. And the spa...which i expect will be quite used.

There were modern facilites yet set in a completely kampungih setting. Mostly foreigners there, and just a really divine get away. Guess only those who can afford it can chill there.

Sigh...here are a few more photos. Next week its back to Kuala Gula and Muar...now that lion dance academy will definitely be interesting!

2005-04-07T04:30:00.000-07:00

yeah...my nephew...ok ok...i jut learnt how to put pix up here...he he

2005-04-07T04:28:00.000-07:00

ok..i'm gonna write about this event soon...but boy was this fun to do!!

2005-04-07T04:25:00.000-07:00

anu's bday bunch

Now that's funny!

2005-04-01T00:12:00.000-08:00

Ok by now, everyone realized it was April Fool's day. The whole thing that Hitz fm did this morning was quite well thought off and planned I must say. Even every legal aspect was covered via their lawyers. But this prompted me to ask the question ; how far is too far?

I have been known for my ability to inculcate contagious laughter even of the most straight faced. And most of the time its via my anecdotal nature...but sometimes I have crossed that line.

I was sitting with some friends over dinner in teh 'back to nature' Siu Siu restaurant wednesday night, and my cousin began to tell the story of how I pulled a fast one on my mum a few years back. My 'lecturer' from college, who was my DJ friend on the then WOW fm, called my mum on her birthday, on live radio and proceeded to tell her that I had been caught doing something naughty in college involcing the girls' locker room. Now my mum knows about my hobby of shooting video and editing. But she defended me to the last and insisited that her son would never do such a thing. Of course all this while I'm listening on the other end and waiting to sing her the birthday song...and finally I did, she shouted at me and said that she was in IJN with my dad for his check up and she will deal with me when I get home...I of course bought her a bouquet of flowers and apologized profusely and wished her a very very happy birthday...all in all, she took it pretty well.

But my then girlfriend's mum thought it was very much in bad taste and used that incident as one of the reasons why my girlfriend should break up with me. he he he...

A good chubby friend of mine and I played a prank on a very good friend of mine...'decorating' her car with leaves and bushes etc...and this good friend of mine hasn't spoken to me since. Though I did try to apologize...but I guess some people would just take it badly. Yes I admit it was a bad thing to do...but she decided to move on in life and forget I ever existed...I guess its her choice...

But then comes the question again...how far is too far? To what extent can we diss someone or poke fun at them without offending them? The power of the tongue is amazingly potent or suicidal...depending on the target...

I guess it really is that. It depends on how cool or easy going that person is. And I guess I have to be really careful from now on....I may just end up losing more friends!!!

That's Work?

2005-03-25T02:44:00.000-08:00

Ok, here is why I absolutely adore what I do. As highlighted by Tom Peters (yes yes, I read your blog :o) about hating Dilbertology, the fun doesn’t end when you start work. In fact I look forward to work each day coz I get to do something different each day.

And that’s how last Monday started. I had just gotten back from F1 Sunday night. Had to pack coz I was on the very early flight to Sibu. Yes Sarawak. A beautiful place I tell you. I just loved how green the whole place was.

So we get off at Sibu airport, which looks like a huge longhouse by the way. (when you get out of the main building, look up…and look at the amount of fungus on the ceiling!!) but you cant help it I guess…just so much rain and humidity here.

Then the person we’re going to meet, my 2 bosses the Project manager and I, Ms Diana Rose appears. Actually she appeared from the toilet with a fairly large umbrella! After the pleasantries….I jump in her Ford Ranger…or more like squeeze into it…and head to Mukah, about 3 hours from Sibu. Of course the back is open and that’s where our bags are…albeit with a funky tarp covering them. And its raining. Non stop till we arrived at Mukah!

The roads were drivable…but water logged. Timber lorries carrying freshly butchered trunks up and down…we stop to eat at this small place where the owner is half Iban and hafy Dutch, Chinese, and some other races. Food was alright…but by this time I was beginning to get freaked out.

You see I’m a city boy. And while I love the occasional jungle trek in KKB up to a waterfall or Klang Gates or something…it’s nice to still find civilization when I get back.
Something told me civilization was not something I was heading too.

Finally reach Mukah…and almost there, we see the ‘fighter plane’ trying to land…tell yu more about this later. WE have a meeting with the resident of Mukah. He’s like the area supreme…one level higher than the District Officer. But since we took so long to arrive…here we are in our casual clothes going to meet a senior government official and talk about DiGi’s latest CSR programme. But he was such a nice guy…so laid back yet so knowledgeable…and he’s definitely a mover and shaker if need be!

You see he is Melanau. Or at least most of him is. So is Diana Rose. Almost the entire town of Mukah is Melanau. But there are only 200,000 of them left in the world. And they have married and inter married that a lot of them don’t even know what being Melanau is. And the language is so different. You really feel like you’re in a different country. But you’re not. You’re in Malaysia. But we semenanjung people can really learn a thing or two from these people. Racial and religious integration is amazing here. The Resident is Muslim. His brother is Christian. And there are so many cases like that and they all live, respectfully of each other under the same roof!

Diana is kinda eccentric. In the words of her ex headmaster (we met him coz he’s in the Education Minsitry there and what we’re doing involves them too) she’s a funny girl. And she does funny things.

Diana is actually an amazing person! This ex reported from the star…gave up her job here. Went back to Mukah where she was from and built this place called Lamin Dana. It’s a place with ten rooms for people to stay, but is also makes crafts and has a Melanau cultural troupe, which she trains. All this she has done with her own money. You should check it out…really beautiful place. Serene and just so one with nature. www.lamindana.com

She’s kinda like the mafia in Mukah. EVERYONE knows her…and she cant give two hoots about protocol. She just walks in and says she wants to meet this person if they are free and then brings us all and chats along…And we…we were like celebrities in Mukah. The whole town knew we were in town, who we are, where we were staying and what we were there for. People smiled. They stared. They looked at us funny. Don’t think they’ve seen too many Indians there…so I was quite a bit of an attraction there. (hmm…it’s a nice feeling for a while)

Anyway… we stayed at lamin dana…no tv…just basic necessities. I loved it for a day…and then is when I started freaking out…I mean…man there wasn’t anything to do here. Just sit there and enjoy nature…ok did that…next? But I guess I could do it for a few days….decided to take it by the horn and do some new stuff…so we headed into town and had amazing seafood. Ok that’s pretty nice. Food is always good.

Then next day breakfast (I slept quite well thank you) we went to Erick’s Laksa…it’s like really really nice. Amazing laksa…not the penang style with fish in the gravy and all…but really nice. Then I tried the mee Kolok…ok I can’t explain it. It’s something like Wna tan mee but no wan tan and no dark sauce…but really really good…and the coffee there is just yumm…that night my bosses cooked and Diana made teh most delicious Umai ever!!

We did other stuff…but the highlight was the boatride up the river…yes yes…the whole village is related to Diana, they have outhouses which hover over the river and release into the river. But the river is actually brackish water which is dark brown…which comes from the tannin in the leaves…I got some really good shots…kampung houses on stilts..(everything is on stilts, even lamin dana) children swimming in the river…sago logs being floated down…(that’s the main industry there)…old men on cut out boats rowing…I could release a book on it!! Will put it up on my webshots soon…a lot of work on my plate now…I’m actually typing this before rushing for home group today…

But the quietness was good. I managed to sit with the Bible wihtou being rushed…did my devotion and prayed…it was quite nice.

Then did the boatride to the mangrove swamp and walked over it…really nice…all kinds of organisms…did a little fishing over the river (caught a prawn…huge one)slept…ate a bit more…had a few more meetings…did a lot of planning and budgeting and strategizing…and then it was Wednesday evening and time to leave….not to soon too…coz I realized it. I missed KL…I really missed KL…thank God there was maxis coverage there else I would have been quite bored-er.

Then it was time to leave…I saw the fighter plane. The plane we had to take from mukah air strip back to sibu airport. The Malaysian Airlines' Twin Otter. Only takes 18 pax. Two pilots who sit in front like a taxi driver. I made sure I had my compass and bearings in case we crashed. Prayed in the morning that we reached home safely.

But the plane ride was really nice…such an experience…flew really low about 3000 feet only…25 mins to Sibu. The trees below looked like broccoli. And the river snaked here and there…beautiful form the air.

Reached Sibu and hour 2 hour wait for the flight became 3.5 hours as the fligh in from kuching was delayed…flew to Kuching in a full flight…then the flight from Kuching to KL was practically empty…so nice to stretch your legs in Zoo class…(that’s what my boss calls economy) reached home at midnight. Even my PDA battery died coz of overuse. 8 hours from Mukah to KL…crazy. But boy was I glad to be back to civilization!

Speaking about civilization. The Melanau were there since the 13th century. In the 14th they had a civil war and 100,000 men died…just about where I was sleeping. And another thing about the melanau. They don’t bury the dead. They out them in coffins and place them on a platform about 6 feet of the ground. Just behind their houses. Thirty years later. They take the bones and build totem poles and place them in huge jars which sit on the totem poles. Diana showed me the back of lamin dana and said…"that’s my great, great grandmother and grandfather. They’ve been there for about 100 over years. Next year I’m gonna build a totem pole for them." All this on the first day we arrived. But I slept so peacefully. Oh yeah…remember in rained when we were on the 4WD. My quite expensive Overland backpack was drenched…almost all my clothes as well. Except my Bible :o)

All in all…I can’t wait to get back there. But just for a few days. Did I tell you I love my job? Well…. I do :o)

On the grassy knoll

2005-03-24T02:03:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday I did the whole F1 thing. Got dressed in blue and black and went to Sepang to watch F1. Brought along my ex girlfriend and another mutual friend. Why? Don’t ask lah. Only the fact that they are F1 fans too…albeit of the struggling red horse type…great isn’t it? The Prancing horse is more like still back there at the stalls…he he

Ok I’m so torn. I’m a BMW Williams fan…mostly coz of Juan Pable Montoya. But now that he’s left to join McLaren Mercedes, I really don’t know what to do. I hated it that I was cheering on a McLaren. But When I cheered on a BMW, I was cheering Webber and Heidfeld… I mean like ok lah…they might be good for the future…but it’s Montoya’s skills that are absolutely mesmerizing…this is one driver with balls!

Ok but here’s the thing. We went to the C1 hillstands to watch this. Y’know…the curve with the huge Petronas Logo. But get this…we didn’t know what was going on! The last few years I had the luxury of free tickets at the grandstand with the race going on in the led screen…so at least we can see what’s going on on the other side of the track or who’s leading etc. But even then I missed the commentary. And I could see the start, the pit stop and the finish. But from here all I could see was the cars whiz by…and when I mean whiz by…I really mean whiz by…kinda like almost 200 km/h.

I found out they were selling headphones with the commentary going on…err kinda ugly red and black full ones! But get this…to listen to the commentary…it’s RM 150!! Yes yes…I know its catered for everyone one foreign and things are set in US dollars…but c’mon…man on the street ( me! me!) but the RM 100 tickets…the commentary more expensive than the tickets??

You should have heard us “…err…I think Rubens is in the pit. Err..no that was Michael. What happened to Webber? I hope there is an accident in front of us, at least we can see something. Hey…why are there so few cars on the track…? Why is everyone on the other hill gathering there? Was there an accident??”

Imagine this…here we are sitting at the circuit itself, but no…we’re calling some friend somewhere in front of TV and shouting….What’s going on in the race? Whose leading? Tsk tsk tsk….quite sad.

To top it all off …we had like 72.35 Million kids sponsored by telecoms in their ugly looking blue and orange t-shirts crawling all over the hillstands. All they were worried about is nak makan apa malam ine? Eh joe, itu kereta F1 ke? (when the Porsche race was on) Eh…awek itu cun lah…(pointing at a all I could see was a tudung girl)

Ok ok …it wasn’t that bad…but really they had no idea what being there was all about. The thrill, listening to the engines scream …and I mean scream like a banshee…down the track! It’s like a shot of adrenaline the size of a Milo tin! Woo hoo…even after all that …I still loved it! And the company was quite fun too :o) ex and Indy were excellent company and we managed to have quite a ball. Throw Wendy in, since we had to give her a lift to and fro…we didn’t even notice that it took us 2.5 hours just to get out of there! And I mean a freaky kinda crawl! We were having a real good time laughing and joking around! I mean that Indy boy can come up with some nice ones...and wendika was just crazy lah…as usual…and ex…well she made it a very nice experience…something about this girl lah :o)

Now next year…gotta plan it early…either put mobile TV on my phone or laptop or get much better seats! Even the crazy prices of drinks and frightfully expensive ‘hot dogs’ (yes…what used to be a bun…in what tasted like pig intestines mashed into a dog!) might not be able to stop me from going back!

F1 2006 …here I come…!! Oh yeah…Alonso won.

And I was to leave early in the morning for my Mukah (3 hrs from Sibu) ride. Now that was an experience!! The Mukah exeprience coming up soon! :o)

Through my Sepet eyes

2005-03-23T20:10:00.000-08:00

Hmmm…. What can one say about this movie. Against a respected authority’s advice, I didn’t see this movie alone, but with some eager beavers in tow.

I must say this movie is commendable. It’s definitely a first for a local movie. Yasmin, the master storyteller she is, has been able to weave a tale that is very much close to the heart. If you read the article in MAS’ Going Places magazine about Yasmin (I’ve memorized it front to back with the amount of traveling I’ve been doing recently!!) She speaks about her parents who still bathe together, run around the house chasing each other in their sarongs etc. She is also Mrs Tan. Sound familiar?

SePeT is very much her autobiography. To the naked eye, many would be raving about how great this movie is. It did leave a very warm, feel good feeling, very much like an extra long Petronas festival ad. It did have very unique perspectives of how races in Malaysia view each other. It had the classic anti-hero who won the girl in the end.

Or is it? I must admire her for her creativity. She has used this wonderful little movie to preach to the world. Although sometimes it felt draggy and the acting quite fake, it harped on issues. Like poking fun at malay movies now. Like with tongue in cheek ridiculing the police force with those two guys in the alley. Like the father preaching about what’s best for his daughter. Like the hardships VCD sellers face.

I’m not one to complain but I guess she had to do that to get her message out. The Malaysian movie going market, save for a handful, would probably not be able to decipher these issues if they were implied. They had to be spoken out loud. To be put into words so that the guy who thought Gerak Khas 2 was the best movie ever would think again.

But I dare to dream. Could there be a different version. One where the issues are not spelt out but implied. Like the scene in the bus stop. Its raining, one malay girl and one Chinese guy sitting there. Speaks a million words being saying even one. The scene where mother and father are playing scrabble and she puts her head on her father’s lap. Beautiful. The Volvo 122s. Nice. The staircase combing hair scene. It said so much about the relationship of the family. Sepet boy’s mother whacking the wheelchair bound dad senseless and his frustration with the ‘chicken’. So deep. The fact that she ran back to her safe malay boyfriend when things got bad with the sepet boy. The fact that various languages were used in this movie.

My dream is that SePet is a new beginning. The end of the Yusoff Haslam era and the start of the Yasmins and the James Lees and the Jo Kukathas. It’s time Malaysian films stand out from the commercial crap and make a claim for itself. To take on the intelligent viewers of this country and beyond and challenge the norms! To be able to come to a point where we don’t have to be so literal but inferral!

Yes the cinematography was great sometimes (the glass door at the florist scene) but bad sometimes, the motorbike scene looked like a Filem Negara Malaysia Production. Yes, the script could have been better. Yes, the acting was a bit fake sometimes. Yes, a lot of things. But one thing is for sure. It’s revolutionary. If our lawmakers can argue that the LRT give your seat up advertisement campaign should be pulled because it’s a Malay boy who refuses to give his seat up because Malay boys are ‘usually very courteous’. What has this country become. Sepet is an eye opener. And I hope the start of a lot of good things to come. It’s about bloody time. I’ve been privy to the entries of the Malaysian Video awards for the last 5 years. There is talent out there. There are people like Yasmin who can think light years ahead of the box. All they need is the opportunity. The thing I liked best about this movie was the ending...or should I say, my version of the ending. That's just it. We all have our own version of what happened.

I only have one complain. Sepet was set in Ipoh. Where the heck were all the Indians? :o)

Hairy story

2005-03-09T18:53:00.000-08:00

Ok I've recovered from my birthday 'season'. All in all a splendid one.

I love trying new things. Doing something for the first time is something i live for! I hate being a slave to routine. I hate driving the same route to and back from work. I hate having the same thing for lunch. I just doesn't challenge me, and I constantly need to be challenged. Only then do I feel like I'm taking this existence to the living stage!

I sat down and formulated a Stakeholders Positioning Map yesterday. Sounds like a yawn but it wasn't. To actually sit down adn translate theory into practical approaches that cen get my clients' key messgaes out there was amazing stuff. I had to look macro. Step back and look at the big picture and what I wanted to implement to meet the clients' objectives...err..whcih we had to formulate from the start! :o)

Based on that document, sitting down with Ayesha and Vim and Clare and Eens was an amazing session! I thought I looked macro but Ayesha's experience and know how just came to the fore. Inspiring woman she is. I am so glad I'm working for her. And Vim. Vim's knowledge base is astounding. Her economics and political structure platform on which she built her strategies were captivating to watch. And to think I contributed to this and helped shape this. It's what I believe it is : People in the communications line have a lot of power. We sit down adn think and formulate ideas that in time gets the whole nation going.

Think American Idol. It's just a talent show. But how they positioned it and got people to interact has got the whole world follwing and participating. Think about it. It all started in the mind of a few people who sat down and said hey, why don't we do this? And now, the whole world is under its spell!

Oh ya my title. I cut my hair. Ok it's like this. When I take my glasses off I can see really well close up...but for the life of me a I cant make out anything that;s more than 3 feet away! So there he goes chopping away, my usual barber this, and here am I just waiting. And I put on my glasses...then I go like whoa...if I wanted it bald I would have said so!! So its really short now. Will look ok in a week I guess.

I took of my goatee. Which I've had mostly since I was 19. And I have to stick to my diet coz my chin is kinda lost in its doubleness. But its a nice airy feeling to have a smooth chin for a change. Lets see how long it lasts.

My mind has been tired over the last few days with all this strategizing. But looking forward to the evtn tomorrow in Cyberjaya. All the planning done. Going later to do the set up. Straight forward one but will be nice to do.

Sent AJ a mail. Just my thoughts over the last 6 months. And wishing her all the best at the new place. Dont expect much out of it. But let it be I guess. Her last day trow and I just heard she will be there at the event trow. Well que sera sera.

Last night's home group was nice. I know they will be fine without me. I'm going to Bukit Indah on Friday. I know its God's will. It's a whole new challenge. But that's what I thrive on.

Meeting the GC gang today. It's beena while. One week actually! Ha ha....ok ok...and I must do some more exercise...have to start shedding the pounds.

Looking forward to playing the guitar in church this Sunday...I want guitar effects!! But gotta buy slowly I guess. Plan out the payments. Can't wait to play lah...its so nice that God uses people to bring out such beautiful music. Not Because I am playing...but how we complement each other. and How the holy Spirit leads us as we play. It's not how we want it to go...but how the Holy Spirit leads it. I am the instrument. Play me Lord!! Woo hoo!

4 cakes and a plum

2005-03-06T19:27:00.000-08:00

Man...I didn't know turning 29 would be so fun! It's not like a had a birthday...feels more like a brithweek!

Thursday, my actual birthday I ran out of the office at 5.10pm! Yep...half day..he he...met NJ for tea. She had this whole thing planned. Well it was supposed to be in a park somewhere but it rained so we ended up in A&W car park. First was the card...which was quite nice...then mocha nescafe in a can, then i had to blow out a candle ...stuck in a plum...supposedly coz I'm on a diet...then came the chocolate brownie from secret recipe...yes..another one! She definitely put a lot of planning into this...if only it was in King's Park in Perth...would have been perfect!

Picked up debs and went to strawberries for what I thought was going to be a simple dinner sith some friends. You see, I made deb promise that she wouldnt do anything funny for my bday...lo and behold she had delegated the funny business to Anu!So here we are haven dinner...yes she was there too...adn then outta the blue comes this huge box...with CK's Eternity in it and some other Eternity stuff...man am I gonna be smelling good for a while!! So I thought ok that's it...but nope half an hour later...and this really got me by surspise...something I really didnt expect. In walks panjang and biggy and the taiping gang and rach singing...yep you guessed it, the birthday song, each in a different key! he he ...but the two separate groups I hang out with merging was a bit overwhelming...but all in all the night was fabulous, ended at about 4 am after nasi lemak in bangsar...these guys are such darlings lah! Deb and Anu...masterminds!

Friday was a struggle at waking up but ran into work...did some stuff and then the whole office takes zai and I for our brithday lunch at Fridays. His bday on the 5th. Man the bbq ribs was amazing! and I had to stand on the chair and undergo the friday experience! Cool...

Evening went home and slept for 1/2 hr when SC is at my door with FeeCh. So we go buy her dad's tix then pickup BroJ then Sang then head to Phileo Daman for Rach's surpirse bday. Hers is on the 5th too. And yeah...it was ok...biggyand panjang came later. Rach And Reg got sloshed. thank God i didnt see the puking! SC did most of the hair holding and cleaning! But Reg looks really funny drunk!! ha ha...she'll kill me if she reads this! Tipsy mamee!

Then we go pick up the parents and head to lotus for supper. send them back and i hit the sack. Next morning we pick up the parents take them for lunch send them off...adn buy panjang's bass guitar. Ha ha....woh fatt never saw me coming!! Cleaned them and bargained a whole lot! Then I saw it...the zoom 707II...nice effects baybe...got him down to 580. But just payed three insurances int he card and road tax too...don't wanna blow it. So I'll head back to woh fatt in a month I think.

Went ot the tamil concert thingy at FGA. Good effort, but presentation wise needed a lot of help. Why is it that they can't put things together properly. In no way are we inferior its just a lack of technical and proper presentation know how. I mean write an MC script for God's sake. Do a proper sound check. Make sure there is no dead spots. Come on man. We need to raise the standards! Eva's voice is still good. But she's blimped...he he..so have I actually. Panjang and biggy did their rounds. Saw parents there. dad was funky as usual.

Now Sunday church was amazing! It was definitely God's will that I don't play the guitar this week! The worship was amazing. the sermon was so real and the altar call...God was fixing my motives my attitude towards so manythings. I went up and was crying my eyes out at God's feet. It's amazing how exact and specific God is when addressing areas in our life that is not right. I felt so alive, so loved, so special that the King of Kings would want to spend that time with me and guide me along the way. I live for Him! That's my cry. That's my goal. That's my destiny. My Jesus ...my bestest friend!

Took the family out for lunch after. Nice seeing all of them together. MArk and PRiya were the normal riot. Nice to see Joel blossoming. He needs some guidance. Must try and get himto come for the Friday home group...hey...maybe that's why I'm being sent there! BUt lunch was good, manoka nd jeevs covered some. nice to see amachi happy wiwth everyone. She vut her cake and family was nice nice ...quite the interesting.

Sun night met the 2 for din. Love kaki corner lah. came back and slept. Found out that TT has a blog too! he he...wonder where he drew his inspiration from ...he he...nice to see him active in cyber space....

so as a reasult of this brithday season..i cut 4 cakes and a plum! and even more so ... didn't do much exercise too. Ok ok...must get back into the joggin and cycling...today got prayer meeting...tomorrow morning I hope. O man...getting up at 6.30 has to be a bummer. ut I have to doit...started my 200 crunches in the morning today. i feel the abs working..now much just get rid of the flab!!

It's been a nice birthday. Thanks God.

It's here again.

2005-03-03T04:31:00.000-08:00

Man, what a day its turning out to be!

Actually it started yesterday. The clowns I hang out with arranged to meet at our normal hang out. But there was something very vividly missing. All those emails back and forth when we do meet. But I just TT was away( he should be, he's in sales right??) and not sending out any one of his intellectually provocative mails.

But lo and behold, there was a larger crows than normal. And everyone had this interesting smile on their face. When FFK turned up, I knew it had to be something special! I mean this girl appears like when the Trilinski crater on the moon turns blue. Ok ok...I saw Apollo 13 the other day.

Well it was nice. TT finally showed up witha chocolate brownie and a weird blue Vodkatic beverage. Its sitting in my fridge. And they did the unthinkable. Yep right there in Grand City, they sang and made me blow out candles, some on the brownie and some on a vadai! Now that was definitely a first! Then I had to devour the brownie. 400 calories. That's about 40 minutes on the exercise bike.

Crowd gradually thinned and I got NR's wedding card. Nice card.... The folwers a bit heavy though. But nice. Can't believe this little girl is getting married! Kinda feel like we drifted apart NR and I. I mean yeah, we;re still close, but there were those times when she used to tell me everything...and I think I was the last to know about this wedding thing. But I'm really happy for her. At least her mum will be able to sleep peacefully now. :o) Looking forward to it. I'm sure it will be an experience by itself! Its definitely gonna be grand. A wedding at PWTC...hmmm says a lot. Good for her though. Wonder if TT has any regrets about losing his Boo. All I can think about is that damn Something Stupid song. He played it over and over when he was trying to get over her!...Must get him to listen to more songs...oh yeah...recently is was...the reason...yep...a whole new meaning for him!!

Went to homegroup after. Was nice. But something is on JH's mind. Was so distracted over the whole thing. Then they brought out the marble cheesecake and did the whole songy thingy. wasnice. Jeevs had a piece when I brought it back. overall a nice pre birthday birthday. Could hardly keep my eyes open at midnight. Must have been all that exercise in the morning. But it felt good! Next round on Friday morning! yee hah.

Anu, FLS, and called me at midnight. Oops. I gotta run for a status meeting now. Damn. I'll be back ala swcharznegger.

Openly Private

2005-03-02T12:00:00.000-08:00

Ok now here's the question. I started this with no particular agenda. Its just happenings in my life, things I want to jot down. It's only when I write I formulate my opinions and thoughts best.

So my budding blog has been discovered by a few people. Some of them whom I've written about. Yes Sham, I know you're reading this :o) But its just my thoughts. Well its open to the world, but how many in the world would want to stop by and find out what igterism is all about? Obviously quite a few...but still, its just my thoughts.

To quote the insightful MayaKirana, "Being on the Net has its benefits. I learn so many new things daily just by reading other people's blogs and going to other people's websites. And I am still amazed."

So I guess I shouldn't be ceonsoring stuff...after all, its just what I think and I'm not ruining anyone's life with this...so I guees I'll let this continue and see where it goes? Maybe I'll be a bit discreet with the names ok Sham? :o)

I wasn't voted in as a deacon on Sunday. Needed 63 votes. I got 62. Am relieved in a way. But got me asking some questions. It shouldn't matter wether I'm a deacon or not. I'm still a Christian. And that should be the be it and end it of it all. How I behave, what I say, even my thoughts, should be reflective of that very thing. It's not just a Sunday thing, its every step I take, He;s there with me. Its about never feeling alone. It's about the constant knowledge that my creator is so concerned even about the littlest things in my life! It's kinda nice.

Did something I've never done before. I got up this morning...ok brace yourself. And jogged!! Yep, did 2 rounds around the apartment, burnt on the bike for 20 mins and did some weight training, just for my upper body. Ever since I heard Ayesha's words on our wetlands recce "He used to be slim when we knew him in 97!" yeah yeah...I told myslef I'm gonna do something about this! And I am. Alvin and Yee Huey in home group are alos inspirational...but how in the world do they burn 1200 calories a day?? Freaky...but ok...have to get there. But the amazing thing is I'm feeling better!! Woo hoo! Partyman is definitely in the mood to parteee!!

Oh yeah...speaking of the partyman...he's turning 29 tomorrow. Mixed feelings lah. Its just another day, another number. But hey almost all my goals i set by the time I hit 30 are met. Got my MBA, happy with my car...make that very happy!! now all that's pending is getting my own place. But I'm looking at Debbie's mum's place in Old Klang Road soon. If that's a go and I'm happy, then I'll get it...now just gotta work out the loan thingy!

So 29....think it's life's way of saying...your last 20something year...maek it count! and oh yeah...the woman thingy. Well, that will happen when it happens...hmmm speaking of that...AJ...so cute! Man...what's with me and slightly plump women who can speak well? And a journalist...a bit blurr..but so nice...Dinner and movie tomorrow night with the anu & Debbie gang...and her. See lah where this goes.

oh yeah...Anu. celebrated her birthday on Sunday night. Fridays in 14. Surprised her with the works lah...cake candles...was a nice time. got her to drink a flaming...and all I could think was...man, I'm the oldest here! THose two..Anu & Debbie...such angels lah...I know they would do anything for me...and vice versa! But amazing that God put them in my life. Had tea with Deb last night...just altked about stuff...must say they are too good for my ego lah. THey just love me to bits!

ok....guess the countdown to my brithday is coming...so what psycho thing shall i do this year...not the bald thing...maybe I'll go colour my hair...err..though the credit card bill is sharply on the increase...geez. Come back to you soon.

But I think I need to fix things with JA. its just bugging me. that I let this happen and let it go on for so long. but how...come back to you on that too...

ok...chappati for lucnh today again! But hey...i am going to toneup and that's something I can't afford to let go off!

Terence. Shut up about this ok. Don't forget...I have those pictures!! :o)

Sham & Stuff

2005-02-24T23:02:00.000-08:00

Remember I told you that I should stay away from Sham? well...that was a bit hard.

Met her after her Rotaract meeting last night. Had supper with sham, li sun, steven and irene. Was nice seeing them. It's been so long since I saw Steven. He looks like he's got a whole lot on his mind. Said that money was tough and he's barely getting by. This boy has got potential. But he's a rolling stone. Wish he would stay long enough to grow and mature somewhere.

This was the first time sitting down with Irene though. She kinda nice. Speaks well. Spoke to her about pumps and marketing and all. They kinda suit each other.

This oldish man came and did those street peddlar thing. Malay man about 50. Spoke impeccable English. Had a brilliant sales spitch and actually spent time explaining his products etc. Was quite taken up by him...very polite but well rehearsed pitch. Would make a good salesman, if his products weren't so crappy. Bought a lighter for terence. Joanne might not like it but hey...it was quite cool.

Ok then sent li sun psycho home. She so cute lah this girl. Then sent sham home. And there we sit in her porche, being feasted upon by mosquitos the size of singapore, until 3.30 am! We were reminiscing about the 3years plus we were together and the stuff we did together, the holidays we took. Was really nice. Yes yes...the emotions are still there. But the fact is, it will never work out! There is no future for us together! Adn there's Andreas in the picture. She says she loves him diferently than how she loved me. Or loves me. She siad it twice yesterday. Yeah...and I said it too.

Man, she used to call me sweety. Then Andy boy called and she called him sweety, I almost died inside! It's that kind of crushing feeling. Totally squeezing your heart and lungs that you just cant breathe for 3 seconds. Didnt know she still made me feel that way. What do I do to get over this girl?? HAd lunch with her today. She was meeting the interesting Jennifer Thompson for breakfast interview. We went to souled out. It felt so comfortable. Its just so nice be by her side and have her next to mine. A very warm and peaceful feeling.

But I cant let this continue. It's not healthy at all! Not for our relationship as friends. Not for my promise to her that I wont come inbetween Andy and her. She dropped a huge bomb last night. Said Andy is planning to marry her in July next year. In a hindu ceremony. What's wrong with these foreigners that they don't understand the spiritual signifcance of all this. And says he is a christian. WEll he lost his mum. and says she's his angel...i guess I can only imagine what its like to lose your mum.

Speaking of which I'd better call her. Need to spend more time in Ampang lah. But when I'm there Ic ant wait to go back home...ok I've digressed.

Meeting Sham and li sun for dinner later. Then watching Constantine with Rachel, Reggie and 2 others. Have to keep my eye open about that movie. Don't let the devil put his ideas in my head. Anwyay...kinda sleepy especially after the lack of sleep the last fe days. Man U played badly lah. And that goal could have been avoided. but lets see in Italy how they play against AC Milan. hopefully ruud will be sharer and ronaldo can send in those crosses. BUt CHelasea seems to be losing it. Lost to barca. Lets hope Man u can capitalize and jump over them in the league.

Man I'm sleepy.

It got me thinking

2005-02-23T19:35:00.000-08:00

Last night's home gorup was about moving away from our comfort zone. And not being aftraid of doing what God wants me to do. I thought we had quite an in depth discussion.

Until I sent Reggie home. Then we talked. I understand now that I have a major responsibility. What I say, what I do, it has to reflect my testimony. I can't be making statements that are not edifying...because it affects people. It plays a huge role on what people think of me, and in what capacity am i saying what I'm saying.I can just be a friend, but I'm also a home group leader. And maybe soon, a deacon. That is if God wants me there.

It almost feels like a huge weight on my shoulders. The constant need to be reflective of Christ's love and light. Read a devotional about even when we are not feeling 100%, God's light is still shining thru us. And others see it. Even if we don't. Which made me ask the question: Can others see the light in me? Am I really shining this light of God? My conversation...needs a lot of work. The tongue is sharper than a two edged sword the bible says. But I am a work in progress. God is still doing a whole of of things in me.

Reggie. Well. When we were talking, I could see her struggle. Her willingness to do God's will and her difficulty to in other areas. But one thing is for sure. She so wants to do His will! And that simple childlike innocence that she has when she talks about Jesus. It's amazing to see. I know the Holy Spirit is going to use her. To raise her to greater heights. She has a destiny...but I wonder why she has trouble seeing that. Guess i was once there too. Though I'm not sure where I'm going to end up...but I know my future is in His hands...and what beter hands to be in than the creatos of the Universe! Cool man. And He's got an amazing sense of humour! I can just burst out laughing about some things I tell you!! Well. It will be interesting to see where God takes her...Really glad God brought her into my life though. He's teaching me so many things through this precious girl!

Which got me asking another question. The next home group. Is this really what God wants? Anna has said ok to be assistant HGL. Now Juiny must say ok. Meeting him on Saturday mroning for breakfast. Hopefully there will be something. Praying about that. Let His will be done.

Man...kinda bored today in the office. And Encil Sulong said I'm putting on weight. Getting kinda disgusted looking at my fat in the mirror!! Ok ok...I gotta get this exercise thing going...!

women

2005-02-22T22:42:00.000-08:00

JA came over to the office today. She's leaving the clients' fold. Bitter sweet about that. Ever since the whole car incident its just been really weird. Well she's decided not to be my friend anymore and has cut me off. Well...she's cut me off once in the past before and I guess she is a very adament person. Once she decides, she decides. Funny. For a people person like me, I still have no idea how to react around her. Granted it was this huge misunderstanding...one that could have cost me my job. Which I thank God I still have! But I guess God has His plans for the whole thing. Would still like to be her friend though. But I guess I gotta respect her decision. In a way its been good. So all the interaction with the client has purely been client-agnecy interaction. But I kinda miss the talks we used to have.

Sham is taking the preseidency. Poor girl. Probably had a major dilemna between that and the Andy boy thing. Gotta admire her passion for the Rotaract club. But think she needs to start working again soon. Hopefully she finds something. Something she likes. She can be so passionate about something and then blow so cold when she loses interest. Have to stay away fromt his girl :o) Everytime we meet there tension in the air. She needs someone around her. What's with it with this girl that I have such a soft spot for? Guess that will just go over time. It has to. And I guess it is fading. Just remind me never to be alone with this girl. It doenst help that she drops things like nobody's business. Hope she's happy with Andy boy.

Brownie. Well...I'm so glad she's taking it the right way. Comes with maturity I guess. Think we just rushed that whole thing. And mummy calling her my akka was just a bit too much to handle! I jump to fast I guess. Without realizing where I'm gonna land and if I like the area I've landed in. Well it looks like we're gonna be alright friends. Friends...we're just getting there. Thank God it didnt get like Swimfan! Now that movie sent shivers down my spine!!

SC. Now this is a quandry. Yes ...no...maybe...It's interesting yet devastating at the same time. There is a possibility. But ...one of my all time problems...she's attached. And he's a nice guy. BUt man...she really deserves someone better. So much of love in that one perosn. And such genuine care and concern. Don't want to screw that friendship up. Leave it in Gods hands then.

Reggie. Well. Hopefully she opens up and tells me what's been bothering her. Till then...what else can I do?

it's been a while

2005-02-22T00:21:00.000-08:00

Ok ok...I know I've been away. its been a few months since my last confession...err...I mean my last blog.

A lot has happened. Chrsitmas, New Year, events with elephants, more events...my wonderful Perth holiday...and now I'm back at work.

Working on this CSR programme for my client. Its really in the bulldogs. Have to survive there somehow. ITs an hour off Taiping. near the coast. Gonna be there for a week. Doing the planning now. No internet, no shops, not even coverage for my maxis mobile. I'm just incommunicado for a week! Sigh...

Plus side is its by the river...so i guess I can finally figure out how to fish. err...city boys and fishing are quite far...but I guess I can do anything there. Kuala Gula, here I come!

My Perth holiday was lovely. Did some things I've never done before in my 29 years. Took a river cruise. A wine tour. Drank various types of Aussie beer. Various kinds of wine. Sat in the park. Swam in ice water...yes, it was really really cold water. Never saw so many white people in short skirts before. BUt they all dress the same...he he he

Quite comfortable at Ayesha Harben and Assoicates. Looking forward to spme nice projects. Ok people around me...so it is fun.

Next week is my church's AGM. I'm nominated as a deacon. Wow...big responsibility. But I'm leaving it to God. Let him take care of it. If he wants me in. I'll be there.

Thinking of moving home groups also. A youth home group. but dont wanna leave the present one. Really nice people here. And the friendships are quite hard to let go off. but I guess I wont be letting go..just not seeing them as often. Still praying about it. Juiny has to take over though...he seems a little reclutant...dunno why. Must sit down and talk to him.

Regina seems upset with me...dunno why still. Was extra careful not to upset her...guess I'll just have to wait for her to alk to me about it.

Been hanging out with shobes and sangee and jaco and rannet...its kinda fun. nice people, good clean fun.

Prayer group is so exciting...just can't wait to see what God's gonna do next. It's an amazing journey. Watch this space!

camp

2004-09-02T10:31:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back from camp. Which was really good. I went there not knowing what and whom to expect. There was an ok bunch. Some who wanted to just stick to themselves...some really genuine people who mixed around. It really got me thinking about the youth ministry. How my passion for it had died a little. Need to get that goin again. My real calling I guess. Hanging with Ezra and the gang was fun...its been a while.

Home group was good last night. Some really good sharing time. Feel its getting tighter. Found verses to suit the occasion just like that. IT's amazing how God works and gives you verses just when you need it.

Off to KT next week. Sure hope I dont have to drive...but then again, that might be fun. Getting a little spoilt. Flying and all. Regatta days I've driven across almost the entire Peninsular Malaysia. But now getting lazy I guess. See lah, how it goes next week.

This weekend is gonna be hectic. And with my car waiting to go in for an overhaul, its not really in tip top condition. Not pushing it.

Kinda waiting to see some people trow night. Shree getting married? When did all this happen? And it'll be good to see Jo after so long.

And Sham's new boyfriend is coming to town today...dunno how I'm gonna react to that...we'll see lah. Stay tuned.

a new begining

2004-08-27T16:20:00.000-07:00

It's begun. My blogging days. All what I used to keep in my little brain is all out for the world to see :) But hey....there is so much going on there has to be an outlet.

Looking forward to this weekend. Long Merdeka weekend. Wanted to apply for leave on Monday but the company declared it a holiday...so yippee. God is so good lah...

Dunno what to expect from this Young adults camp. Going with some friends...might know some people there..But just going with an expectant heart and waiting ot see what GOd does.

Will be nice to be away from the office for a while. Havent seen much else in quite a while. Come back on WEdnesday...I'll tell you what happenend :)