igsterism

Serving...

2009-03-06T01:57:00.000-08:00

I got this little devotional and it hit me like *wham*! It said what professional life has been till now... read la. After that I was like "he he he... I definitely did the right thing!"

Serving from the Heart
by Rick Warren

From now on if you listen obediently to the commandments that I am commanding you today, love God, your God, and serve him with everything you have within you, he'll take charge of sending the rain at the right time .... Deuteronomy 11:13-14 (MSG)

*** *** *** ***

Repeatedly, the Bible says to "serve the Lord with all your heart." God wants you to serve him passionately, not dutifully. People rarely excel at tasks they don't enjoy doing or feel passionate about. God wants you to use your natural interests to serve him and others.

How do you know when you're serving God from your heart?

The first telltale sign is enthusiasm. When you're doing what you love to do, no one has to motivate you, or challenge you, or check up on you. You do it for the sheer enjoyment. You don't need rewards, or applause, or to be paid, because you love serving in this way.

The opposite is also true: When you don't have a heart for what you're doing, you're easily discouraged.

One characteristic of serving God from your heart is effectiveness: whenever you do what God wired you to love to do, you get good at it. Passion drives perfection. If you don't care about a task, it is unlikely that you'll excel at it.

On the other hand, the highest achievers in any field are those who do it because of passion, not duty or profit.

We've all heard people say, "I took a job I hate in order to make a lot of money, so someday I can quit and do what I love to do." That's a big mistake. Don't waste your life in a job that doesn't express your heart.

Remember, the greatest things in life are not things. Meaning is far more important than money. The richest man in the world once said, "A simple life in the fear-of-God is better than a rich life with a ton of headaches" (Proverbs 15:16 MSG).

Don't settle for achieving "the good life," because the good life is not good enough. Ultimately, it doesn't satisfy. You can have a lot to live on, and still have nothing to live for. Aim instead for "the better life" - serving God in a way that expresses your heart.

Figure out what you love to do - that which God gave you a heart for - and then do it for his glory!

The tabernacle

2008-11-20T03:47:00.001-08:00

My Pastor is taking band with her to minister at a conference on Saturday so I'm looking after their practice tonight... and i'm doing a short devotion with them before practice... was asking God what to share...and He directed me towards the tabernacle. The outer courts and the inner courts and the priests and how it was so crowded in the outer courts with ppl slaughtering their animals for sacrifice etc. But the inner courts was just for the priests and the holy of holies was just for the high priest once a year...read Exodus 25 - 30 and it's so detailed, the instructions. Then i looked up a picture of the tabernacle and it made so much sense.

Very much like our worship now... its all noisy and crowded outside...but we are all priests now, and we need to step into that quiet place where we minister to the Lord in worship...and into the Holy of Holies where the presence of the Lord is and where He speaks and ministers to us.

Check out this song :

Take me past the outer courts
And through the holy place
Past the brazen altar
Lord I want to see your face

Pass me by the courts of people
And the priests who sing their praise
I hunger and thirst for Your righteousness
But its only found in one place

So take me into the Holy if holies
Take me in by the blood of the Lamb
So take me into the Holy of Holies
Take the coal, cleanse my lips
Here I am

Away... to hear your voice...

2008-11-18T02:58:00.000-08:00

With all I am...

2008-11-18T02:52:00.000-08:00

In moments like these...
I sing out a love song
A love song to Jesus

In moments like these...
I sing out to you
I sing out my all
I sing out my everything
All of me
Every ounce
Every fibre of being
Everything that I have is yours Lord

My very purpose of existence
When you founded the world
YOU thought of me

When you laid the core of this earth
YOU were thinking of me
When you hung your head and died
YOU, My God, My King, My saviour, was thinking of me.

What could I ask for?
What more is there Lord?
What more do I need but your love, your grace, your mercy

My eyes looks up to heaven
To wonder upon your greatness
To witness your beauty
To fathom your infinite wisdom and power

Who am I Lord?
That YOU see me worthy to be called a Son of the Living God
An heir, to eternity of worship with you
What greater reward than to know you and Worship MY JESUS!!

With all I am.
I worship you my KING!!

Alone

2008-11-18T02:29:00.002-08:00

For the second time this year Pastor left me in charge of the service. The Pastors are away in Singapore. Ps Benjamin Yeoh preached... but there was a little scare...Worship started and he still wasnt here yet!! Midway through the second song he came...PHEW!! I was thinking of a sermon I could pull up if I needed to...or just might share my testimony...and focus on Passion for God...suprisingly...actually not suprisingly...but it was the Holy Spirit...Ps Ben also spoke about the same thing. Passion for God...

Well the interview last week went pretty well...7 pastors from the CDC interviewed me... and 3 other... but dunno why they asked me most of the questions...haha... but it was good.. I actually enjoyed it... I guess I really feed of these things... extrovert in the true sense of the word!! haha...

Youth Culture class is coming to an end next Monday (24/11). Its been interesting..learnt a lot... and still learning...Pastor Julie Koo is super inspiring la.. Amazing how she has such a PERSONAL relationship with God and it just flows out to everything that she does...

She hasn't taken a salary from the church in more than 20 years!! That is truly a life of faith!! I wonder what I would do if God asked me to do that...woah scary... But my life in His hands...I guess there isnt anything to worry about...

Dunno what happened after class...I was really freaking out... Think it was the combination of not enough sleep and sugar overload...was seriously saiko!! haha... ok back to normal today I guess...

I see Jeremy and Sui li and Flora growing in the Lord... nice to see that in class also... There is an amazing number of ppl who just hunger and thirst for God so much!! And their burden for young people is so deep and searching...truly amazing!!

Ok worship leading this Sunday...speak Lord...I'm listening... what songs do YOU want this Sunday...? One of it I know is below... the rest?

2008-11-18T02:29:00.001-08:00

It's going in...

2008-11-05T23:51:00.000-08:00

This Monday... two big things in my life are happening.

1. At 2.30 pm, I have an interview. With the Assemblies of God of Malaysia Central District. It's my credentials interview. I'm not really worried about it, but its kinda hanging there.. These people have the power to decide if the A/G of Malaysia will recognise me or not... haha...its a bit scary but exciting at the same time...another milestone...

2. I will be submitting all my forms and stuff to the Bible College of Malaysia to apply to be a student studying a Bachelor of Theology. It's gonna be long, a full time student does it in 3 years... I, depending on the number of subjects I take per semester...might do it in 6 to 7 years... not really in a hurry...I just hope I don't run out of steam...

It's no turning back now!

When I speak your name...

2008-11-05T23:45:00.000-08:00

Worship last Sunday

2008-11-05T21:58:00.000-08:00

I led in worship last Sunday... I was off the Thursday before and I just took my guitar at home and started playing. I already knew one of the songs I was going to sing...it was a new song. Quite powerful...

Here it is : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPKzCyc0GXY

Was playing the Saviour of the world DVD by Planetshakers...and that song really spoke to me. Saviour of the world... the lyrics so true!!

Amazingly the songs just flowed...I've spent hours figuring out my songlist for Sundays..but sometimes when you're so in tune with God's spirit it just comes across so fast...but sometimes its good that it takes time too... He can really speak so clearly...

As soon as I finished one song God popped in the next one... was really amazing!!

Then Sunday comes. Usually I come in about 8.20 or so and spend time in prayer and preparing myself for the service, even if I am not worship leading... but this Sunday I only arrived at 8.45...seriously late... then had to prepare the youth video and YADS promo video etc...

So I did something i haven't done in a while. I didnt prepare myself fully... so we practiced at 9 am...then prayed with the group. I had a nagging feeling something wasnt right. I was worried about the video and if the multimedia team had it ok...just couldnt focus.

Then worship time came... and it was ok... but it just wasnt the same as it was in the video... I tried to play harder, sing louder get things going...but something was just missing... then I heard His voice... Something like "nothing you do can make it better or worse, you're not relying on Me."

It hit me like a tonne of bricks... I was so concentrating on the technicalities, the right chords, the right things to say...that I somehow left God out of worshipping God. It was like God gave me a knock on the head and said, "Boy, do you remember who you are worshipping, or are you just follwong routine?" And I realized I had fallen into the trap...

Sometimes you get so much in a routine...or a fixed way of doing things, it leaves little room for the Spirit of God to move... when it should really be God running the show, His Spirit leading...and I fell in that trap. All this is going on in my head as we're singing the 3rd and 4th song...

By the last song I completely surrendered to God...and I felt a difference...and I told myself that should never happen again. I shouldn't come not 100% prepared. I should submit to the Spirit and not run things... when it's worship...it should never be a show!

He really taught me a lesson last Sunday.

I'm worship leading again on 23 Nov... it's going to be different...

some highlights of the year

2008-08-20T02:38:00.000-07:00

My first official preaching session at youth combined... spoke on 'Connecting with Friends' thus the verse you can see...

The YADs Heritage Hunt to Melaka...an awesome team effort by the committee most of those who went had loads of fun and really enjoyed the food!

The Very Eventful youth trip to Gua Tempurung for caving...this was loads of fun and I found out how much I like caving! :)

The Paradise Worship Concert live in RCKL. I programmed the lighting...but Jon Chia's shots are really quite nice...i love this one...the contrast of the people on stage and the crowd worshiping!

Din tell you bout this one... a quick 2 day 1 night trip to melaka to celebrate Rannet & Shoby's 1st wedding anniversary. On the way...some excellend durian dusun from Alor Gajah! So yummy!!

Great company...good food...we actually prayed for the Orchard owner before we left as he was a Christian too!

2008 Update :)

2008-08-20T01:40:00.000-07:00

Haha…. Just saw the date of my last post and realized it has almost been a year! It’s August 20^th, 51 weeks since my last post…think that was about Sabah.

Well here’s a quick update by months

Dec 2007

I officially resigned as Project Manager at Ayesha Harben and Associates after almost 4 years of working there. Came in as an executive and somehow I found myself as PM…not prime minister but project manager la... This job has taught me so much! What I didn’t realize was that this job actually was preparing me for my next phase in life…which was to start on Jan 1, 2008.

Jan 2008

Started officially working in Revival Centre, my beloved church as a Ministerial Staff. Taking on the leadership of the Music and Worship, Multimedia, Young Adults, Special Events, PA, Webmaster, assisting the youth and basically any other work that needed to be done.

This is a huge step for me. Something that I knew I would be doing eventually. But to actually get into it...so much fear and trepidation.

One of the first things that happen in church is Ps Benedict Rajan did a weekend with us. And in the Sunday Service, he calls me out (actually he calls me Muthusamy in jest!!) and says this is a year of decision for me and God is giving me 1 Tess 5:24 as a promise…that the God who called me is a FAITHFUL God.

Woah…it hit me big time…and yes. A truly humbling experience…and comforting to…and over the next few months…I was going to be holding on to this verse with all that was in me!!

Feb 2008

I’m still staying in PJ…traveling everyday to church in Ampang is killing me…getting up so early…have to leave by 7am in order to reach church in time…begin looking for a place somewhere nearer to church.

Working in church is a stark reality. I begin to see how things are done…a huge huge difference from the corporate world. But it is so much better a working atmosphere here…

March 2008

One day I’m driving back to my parents place and I pass by this apartments called Tudor Court. I just think to myself that it would be a nice place to stay as it is no near church and quite convenient… but it was just a tought.

Towards the 15^th of March, I’m moving in to an apartment here. God opened the way miraculously. When I went to see the place, I immediately knew that God had kept this apartment for me. Then when my landlady found out I worked in the church…she even gave me a really good discount on the rent! Praise the Lord.

I didn’t have the cash to pay the deposit, but the night before I had to, someone took me to the ATM and withdrew the amount and said God asked him/her to give it to me. Amazing isn’t it? His timing is ALWAYS perferct!

April 2008

Moved into my place…and gradually started getting stuff in. Was a good feeling to finally get my own place…at age 32. My aunty gave me a bed for my birthday…it was a nice bed…but it had no mattress. My mum gave me a 2” mattress that left me have aches all over my body in the morning. Looked at quite a few shops around ampang couldn’t find anything I could afford.

A church member takes me to a place where she knows the owner…and lo and behold I found one I could afford and she even buys me a mattress protector!! Amazing stuff our God can do!

In church, I start work on my first big project, the church camp! It’s a major challenge as things go really smooth at first but later…well see June.

May 2008

Started my first class in the Bible School of Malaysia…Counseling Methodology. Amazing, in depth analysis of technique etc. Learn so much! Its tough getting back to doing assignments etc… but it had to be done…

June 2008

Church camp is fast approaching…after Stephanie and Marissa’s amazing promotion in church…there is an overwhelming registration! 170 ppl register for camp…the all time biggest record for our church!

But, the hotel has run out of rooms. To cut a long story short, after a lot of prayer and so much of sweat and tears…God shows up and saves the day. The camp went reasonably well, people were very satisfied…except for those who stayed in the apartments…but I guess some sort of compromise had to be done…God gave us a really good camp.

It taught me so many things. How it is different when you are working directly for the Lord. How to rely on God and not on your own strength. How you can plan but only God can make it happen!!

July 2008

Get my second huge project…the church 30^th Anniversary Celebrations. Working hard with my committee and trying to get things going…too much details to put down…but I see so many interesting things.

The YADS committee continue to inspire me. We’re planning a heritage walkabout hunt in Melaka…and the girls and guy do it so well! God again turns up…gives us great weather and even let us go by bus and helped us break even and make a RM 12 profit!! I stand in awe of how much these girls pour out of themselves for the Young Adults…so many things are happening! And it can only get better!

Influence conference at GTPJ taught me so many more things. Working with such an amazing team of people…so dedicated, so strong, so focused in prayer and in what God wants us to do. He has great things in store for us!!

Took my second class in BCM. Worship Leading. Ps Lee Meng Chiam is an amazing teacher. He is the worship Pastor of Grace Assembly in Singapore and does things on the acoustic guitar that I have never seen done before…think Jon Koo and Alwin were also stunned! It was just amazing!

I learnt so much from Him…refined my worship leading arts and science much more. Instituted what I learnt in the class straight into the ministry…good things are in store!

August 2008

Which brings us to now. We just finished our first true blue worship concert in RCKL. The Paradise Community Church Band and Ps Matt Heinz came over and did an amazing job! God is so great… will put in pix soon. Good worship, great teaching, lives changed, people touched. The beautiful Hand of God at work again.

Other than the overall execution of the anniversary dinner…I’m currently focusing on the video for it… and I think I’ve got the base idea right. Pastor gave some really good suggestions too…its gonna be good…but its gonna take time and lotsa effort.

Went for the Youth Pastors School. This year it was amazing. Not so out there like the last years…but a really good bunch of people and we’ve kept in touch after that (thanks to facebook!) and the next step is the Youth Culture Class on Mondays

I would have to not to go prayer mtg / bible study every Mondays to attend class, but only till end November. A bit bummed about that…but I think it’s vital I start racking my credits up and doing classes that are relevant to my ministry…

So things are going great…there have been so many miracles that God has done in the last 8 months. No time to write here but it will come up in my sermons soon I guess J

I have grown and matured in the Lord so much in the last 8 years. I have fallen. I have gotten up. I have cried so much. I have been comforted so much. He is with us and will never leave us nor forsake us!

This is truly a new life altogether…

More to come… stay tuned.

2007-08-27T07:42:00.000-07:00

Pulau Sipadan

The next phase

2007-08-27T07:37:00.001-07:00

It’s 9.40 pm. I’m sitting in my office. Outside the rain is pelting down hard. Yet “Rain down on me” is playing on my itunes. I’m in the office but I haven’t been doing any work since about 7.00. Been constantly sms-ing somebody…just day to day, run of the mill, stuff…about 20 smses…back and forth. Was surfing here and there.

I have this vague sense of bittersweetness. A little fear, trembling even. And somehow I ask myself questions that I know only He can answer. I see myself bordering on getting depressed. The Holy Spirit prompted me to move in a different direction so I don’t fall there.

You see I got back at 3.00am last night from Semporna Sabah. Was there for a week for the ending of the DiGi Amazing Malaysian Sabah poject. For once Air Asia let me down and was 2 hours delayed from Tawau. http://www.digi.com.my/aboutdigi/community/cm_about.do

Sabah was good. We took the last day to visit Pulau Sipadan, Kapalai and Mabul. Beautiful islands…yet somehow I just couldn’t relax.

2 days before as all the children were doing their rehearsal. One section of the stage fell collapsed. When I saw that my heart fell like a brick from a ten storey building. These were children. Somebody’s son and daughter. I ran to the stage. About 12 of them were in a hole in the stage, about 4 feet deep. Broken plywood and support beams built by a half-baked vendor is Semporna. It just couldn’t take the load of so many children concentrated in one area.

Eric ran to the same area. Peter was there too. We carried them out to safety. A few had twisted ankles. We suspected one was broken. I mean these were 8 to 12 year olds. How could we let this happen? I thought of my own nephew and niece. I would be raving mad if something like that had happened to them!

It was only God’s grace that saved each one of them. Only 4 had sprained their ankle slightly. No fractures. No punctures. No blood. And all were able to perform the next day. If that had happened on the event day…I can’t event think of the consequences…from the client. From the community…I wouldn’t have forgiven myself. It was just too much at some point. Then I realized God’s goodness and mercy. It flows new every morning! He loves us too much! Even in that tragedy…there was so much good that came out of it. We were able to think on out feet and just manage the situation, the parents, the whole thing. God gave us wisdom at the right time!

I have more or less started my countdown of leaving Ayesha Harben and Associates. This would be my third last project for the DiGi campaign. A few more for the ministry and 2 more for another client. The last 3+ years have been phenomenal at AHA. I have grown so much professionally, personally. As a producer. As an event person. As a PR practitioner. As a strategic thinker.

And I know it’s God’s training ground. In the back of my mind I knew this was all temporary. The call of God has been so strong all my life. I look back and see some pivotal moments in my life. Me going to Singapore. Me deciding to take up the AV part in school. Becoming head prefect. Leadership roles. The MYF back here in KL. Leaving the Methodist Church and coming to Revival Centre.

I remember struggling with that decision. Am I really to leave the Methodist church? Could I possibly be making the right decision? If I were to leave who will stay and fight the fight? To be there for the young people? I now know that God raises people. At the right time and place. To glorify His name, to do His work and will. It’s not about you. It’s about just submitting to His will.

I thank God for Revivl Centre. How much I have grown here. Spiritually…I feel I’ve conquered Mt Kinabalu…and there’s still Everest to go. In January 2008, I’m joining the church full time. My passion for the young people has not died. It fact its grown by leaps and bounds. And suddenly, in the last 7 years, the Worship element of my life has sky rocketed. “Blessed be your name, even when I walk through the wilderness, Blessed be your name”

Worship…oh Worship…where do I start. “Every blessing you have poured out I will turn back to praise!” I just adore Him. I just want to say thank you. When Jesus rode out on a donkey to enter Jerusalem, the people were shouting ‘Praise the Lord. Blessed be the Lord for the Son of David’. The priests asks Jesus how He could let that happen. And He answered: “If they were to keep quiet, the stones in the field will break out in Praise!!”

For who are we compared to the Great Creator! The Maker of the Heavens and the Earth! He is worthy of all praise! He is worthy! For He ALONE is God!! He has no equal!! We mere mortals stand in awe of the Living God…

I’m worshiping leading this Sunday. And I’m excited. I’m so excited. What an honour. What a true priviledge to just lead His people into His presence. As a worship leader..we are to disappear. We are the PVC pipe that leads people to God. No one wants to worry too much about the Pipe. But more so where the pipe is leading them to! Lord make me that channel that leads your people into your presence.

I’ve got so many things I want to plan and do. I don’t know yet if they’re just my plans or if it’s God inspired…but I have this yearning in my heart! This unquenchable fire. So excited to do things for Him. When I was in the Methodist church I thought it the Ministry was one of poverty, of constantly being poor and being that church mouse.

But its not that. The AOG churches have so much to do that’s cutting edge. Production. Youth and Music. Ministry that takes you to higher heights of service, but only for those surrender to servanthood. I read it again and again. Servanthood. For those who want to be great in the Kingdom of God must be a servant of all. Not to sit in lofty seats but to be prepared to go the extra mile…not because of duty or compulsion… but just because we love the name of Jesus. For he first loved us.

Honestly, I’m finding it hard to be motivated in work in AHA. Knowing what lies ahead, I press forward! But I know while I am here I have to give it my all. And I want to end this year with a bang in AHA. To really do cutting edge stuff. You see these last few years, god has been training me for such a time like this. I’m a professional producer in God’s service. Not that I am blowing my own trumpet, but its all about a spirit of excellence. Whatever we do, to do it perfectly well for God, with His guidance.

I was on the committee for the Influence conference. I didn’t get much sleep. Same like work. There were long hours. Same like work. There were trying times. Just like work. But there was something so much more than that! And the end of the whole thing. I was on my knees. Not in prayer but I was re-laying the mic cables on GTPJ’s stage. And I was in tears. I have checked on cables 1000 times before. I have worked out production schedules. I have drawn projection diagrams. But this time it was so much different. For the first time I was doing something professionally for GOD! Not indirectly, but something directly that opens up the way for many into the Kingdom of God. For there first time I realized the verse “you were created for such a time like this”. Read Esther. She was set in that place for a time like that. I read about the begger that “threw aside his coat” when Jesus called Him. And he was healed. His coat was His security. He threw it aside. I can’t wait to jump into this new phase in my life.

How many times before I look at the huge stages and the huge budgets that go out to the DiGi events. And I wish they were Christian events. Why can’t that be a reality?

God speaks in so many ways. From the sea of Sipadan. Where I saw a thousand fish in 2000 colours! Beautiful coral…all God’s creation. From the safety and great weather of the events. From those kids that fell, but were not injured. From the safety getting there and back. From the whole event. How clear He speaks…and here I was wondering why He isn’t speaking to me as much… He IS our amazing God who speaks.

I was wondering why Oliver wasn’t getting a job. Was even feeling frustrated for him. Then I read His blog. I realized how much God was working on oliver’s personal relationship with God. What a special special time he is having right now! It brought tears to my eyes.

I’m going back now…and even now. I hear God’s voice so clearly. His awesome presence. The comfort of the Holy Spirit. So wow. So nice. So amazing. How great is our God!

semporna in sabah

2007-02-07T04:59:00.000-08:00

And we even had a taste of tradionally cooked Bajau food. lotsa seafood...check out the crabs...really yumsums! Amazing hospitality...imagine 4000 people living on stilts above the water...really an amazing experience...
this is one of the calmest places in semporna, sabah...possible the site of one of the next amazing malaysians programme

back with a vengeance!

2007-02-07T04:43:00.000-08:00

Hi all,

I'm back. Finally...its been a long long journey since the rainforest festival. Many trials and learnings...grown a lot individually, learnt a lot of painful lessons..adn some not so painful ones... have lost some friends and gained some new ones.

Saw some of my closest friends getting married, some about to get married and some proposing and setting the date and things like that. Pretty interesting stuff. MP and CS are getting married! Woo hoo...they finally set the date...he proposed to her quite romantically... http://when-two-become-one.blogspot.com/ ...never thought he had it in him...but loves makes you do strange things ai guess..and they are definitely ready to get married...for sure. gotta pray real hard for them...but I'm sure God is having his way in their lives...

Kinda makes me think when is my turn...think I'm ready...but then again...God is still working unb my life... Have made some pretty hard decisions recently...and have decided that I am going to stick by them...tell you more when I have actually set those plans into action. It's gonna call for some drastic actions...but hey...God is for me who can be against me...

Been thinking also about the people that I have upset in the past... a certain group of them... Its sad that I dont know how but I managed to upset them quite badly... i think sometimes if i could have done things differently, said it differently...but i guess it all happens for a reason. And God is in control. So I am not worried. If you're reading this. I dunno why things happened the way it did. But I wished it otherwise, and never did I have any bad intentions... guess you all know me well enough to know that's the honest truth. But the past is the past. Its a new year. Its a new phase in my life...so if ever i can make up for it, you just have to ask.

Work has thrown me new challenges. I can honestly say that i have covered every state in this country and encountered many many unique situations. and I have learnt and grown so much. Professionally, personally and even physically! But the gym hopefully can help me there... when i do get around to going for classes there tho...

renovations are just about done in the office... its looking pretty nice. And more responsibilities are being thrown my way...but I have to be up to the task. Looking forward to the langkawi and sabah and melaka projects...that might be fun and if the other nationwide one kicks off...wlll lets just say that it will definitely be a challenge...

Church is great...have to plan my time better. But I have my priorities in the right place. So watch this place... More happenin stuff just round the corner.

2006-07-11T08:32:00.000-07:00

The Rainforest Festival. Really nice place to be!

30 and life

2006-07-11T08:05:00.000-07:00

It's almost 11pm. I'm still in the office. Leaving early tomorrow morning for Penang. Now that's going to be huge as it involves a whole lot of planning. But I have faith in God. And it will come to pass to give him glory! I am sure of it! Just like in Lunas at the event...people had put chilli and onions in the ground to not let it rain...but I prayed and asked to take the full glory for the great weather! And guess what...he did...not one...but 2 huge rainbows! Not that's truly amazing I tell you!

Well just finishing compiling all the documents and videos I need for the penang job. Am tired. Not just now...but this whole thing. Dunno how long more I can take this constant momentum of madness. Thought last weekend at the Rainforest festival would have been a break...but it turned out it drained me even more. So little sleep and so much of sweat. It was an awesome time though... The music, the people, just the whole experience of it. Bosses were really nice to pay for the whole thing! Guess it was an education of sorts.

Some good did come out of it. Not only am I REALLY familiar with the streets of Kuching and Santubong... but something did pique my interest there. I guess it could be just initial reactions, you know like the knee jerk thing. But I dunno. Just gotta pray about it, and see where it goes. But I have decided that I'm not gonna sit back and take things lying down anymore...not that I have so much time to sit back and lie down anytime! Guess the worse thing that could happen is a blatant no....so what? he he...at least I tried!

Really need a break again...it's amazing how tense I get so fast! Guess the whole stress of SV leaving is also taking its toll. Guess I just relied on him a bit too much. Should have kept a closer eye on things. Life teaches you weird lessons.

Been thinking about this whole turning 30 thing. Its just a number...but somehow your entire system does slow down a bit. Absolutely detest the weight I am right now...probably eating maggi mee 2 times a day doesn't help! But also the whole 'time is running out' thing. I dont think it is. It will happen in God's time I guess.

My home group kids have been calling/sms-ing. Been away from church for 4 weeks. That;s a long time. Wonder what how all of them are doing. Am not really doing my part there. But I need to pull up my socks and put in my time there! Really miss it. Miss the worship. Miss listening so accurately from God. Need to spend more time reading his word. I religiously carry the Bible everywhere travel...but open it so few times. Must make it a point. His word will be the light to my path! I know that for a fact! So am claiming it!

Want to take hold of my destiny...dont know how much more of this I can handle. Where is my destiny Lord? Help me get there!
Missed Monday prayer meeting also. Need to light the fire again.

1 am and the OC

2006-06-20T09:44:00.000-07:00

The last 2 days I've been working till almost 11.00 pm. I love what I'm doing but its really stressful now. In 8 hours I'll be flying to penang to do an event in Lunas Kedah on Friday. Like where? Yeah, Lunas...really the boondocks but we have to do the project there. Am looking forward to putting the DiGi colours all ove the place there...

But enought about work...after all...I'm sitting here at 1 am, watching the OC and typing this. Had lunch NJ the other day with someof the gang. It was kinda fun, but that girl has changed a lot, and only she is realising it. Think it's reality kicking in, after all, she been living in a cocoon when she was with me, now she's on seventh heaven...

But enough about her... theres so much more to life than that. Think I'm not having much of a life out there other than work. But I'm finding the joy in little things....the joy of playing with new laptops, watching the OC, seeing so much of this country, not sleepingmuch, the joy of watching Argentina playh football, the frustration watching England play, you know the simple things. I think how blessed i am. I think how much I;m doing that so many other people can only dream about.

Church is becoming even better. Finally the music comittee is coming together and we;re putting things really nicely together! Its so much God gonna do, I'm so sure of that.

ZM used to call once in a while. Now she's attached I'm no longer on the face of this earth...hahaha...not really a big change...but that;s what happen to people i guess. They forget friends once they;re attached. But it;s natural i;m sure. Think its a humanreaction. But what will happen when I meet her I wonder...

ok gotta go pack...watch England play at 3 am...and leave in the morning...

be back soon. This life is really good...it can olny get better!

From Lake Chini to Gurney Drive

2006-03-13T21:14:00.000-08:00

It's been 2 very long weeks. After all the hullabulla in in lake Chini and the chaos there, I'm sitting in the evergreen laurel hotel on gurney drive and trying to get some work done. In the last 2 weeks, i've worked right next to the kuala terengganu beach, the kuantan beach and now next to the penang beach, and not once has even the white edges of my toe nails got salty from the touch of seawater. I havent even had the time to go for a swim in the pool. And tasik chini was the worst. I really don't know how we pulled it off, but we managed to cart 160 people on many tiny boats to an orang asli settlement int he middle of the lake and do an event there. And this time there was no Vim to stick chilli in the ground to 'stop the rain'. It was all my God's doing! Yeehah! He is just amazing...it was an absolutely perfect day!

Penang is a little more relaxed...A bit too relaxed. The real work start from 5 pm later right until the end of the event tomorrow night. I'm praying for real good weather too. So far it's been really really HOT! But the project is fun and I'm enjoying myself. A bit sad that I have to give away my brand new toys. Am using a state of the art TOshiba M100 dual procesor and a whole load of other reallynice stuff...but I have to leave it behind here in headquarters of the project in Penang for them to use. Sigh.

Have to psyche bossie to buy me one. It's really really nice. Sigh.

I miss KL. I miss my home group. Finally can make it this week. But back in Kl only on thursday late night. And weekend is gonna be hectic. Hopefully can catch up with some friends. Have had nothing of a social life the past few months.

My birthday was spent watching them put up the stage in terengganu and supervising the truss setup. Sigh. But the office people did something real nice. After the event they surprised Zaidi and Sunil and ena and I with a little birthday bash at the hotel. Our birthdays all kinda fall around the same time. So it was quite nice of them. They made orchid garlands for us, made us cut a cheesecake and opened a couple of bottles of wine. Really sweet of them. And then it was back to work! Sigh...We only finished out meeting at almost 2 am last night and this morning there was loads of stuff to do. But managed to squeeze in a really nice bak kut teh for breakfast! he heh e....nice stuff.

Ok I should actually work on my programme now. Need it for tomorrow;s event. Lord, please grant us really good wether tomorrow? Looking forward to giving you ALL the glory again...

After that...KL here I come!

Civilization...

2006-02-20T03:55:00.000-08:00

I'm back from Mukah. It's over! Finshed the project there. Don't have to go back there! Yeehah! Dunno if I will miss that place. We'll see lah.

Had a reallyh long wait before getting back to KL yesterday. A plane got grounded on the runway in Kuching and delayed all the ther flights. So only got to bed at 2.45 am. Tired like crazy.

The project went well though...only mistake was the position of the fireworks. Somehow I thought it would be so much more to the left, but it was more like behind lamin dana...and then the wind carried it some more...so it went just like that. But I give all Glory to God! I prayed so hard that it won't rain. And it didnt! My God didn't let me down. Bossy went and poked chili in the ground. I refused to have anything to do with it. My God shall provide all my needs! Why look around when He is the God that invented the sun, sand, rain and everything else! God you are just magnificent Lord!!

Mukah gave me some time with my Bible though. Not so much the frentic pace on KL...but since I was staying at the venue I could spend some quality time with Him! And it was nice.

I thought I'd really enjoy coming back to KL...and I'm really glad I'm back...but somehow the pace of it...the event on the 24th and Mano's wedding on the 25th...think I'm beggining to get quite stressed.

The plus side is that bossy said they are going to get me a new phone! Yay! And she wants to send me to the Rainforest festival in July! Woo Hoo! Always wanted to go... Now the office is sending me...how cool is that!

I miss my home group though... Feel so bad I wasn't there on the 1st HG of this year. But will make it up to them this Friday. I must. I have to be there for them. I want to be there for them.

Going through my pot event blues now...Feel a bit sad about things...but I guess things are really better coz Clare is back. She is such a help! KG is still not the same with me. I think the recent episode is getting her thinking again. Bugs me like crazy. But Lord, I'm leaving it up to you. You do what is best in this situation. I'm leaving it totally at your feet Lord. I cant do much else, you do what you see fit Lord!

Next is the announcement on 24th! It's gonna be great. I just hope we can execute it perfectly! Lord...empower me. No one else can do it but you Lord!

I wasn't elected into the deacon board. I'm relieved actually. I dunno why. Maybe its my timing. Just so much of my time is work now. Not much time for anything else. Must find some time to find a girlfrend lah! ha ha ha.... Think soon, Very soon. But I know it's His will. He really go tme thinking. BUt what else does he have in store for me?

But the board looks really good. Good people. Humble people. God fearing people! Excited to serve with them. Am a bit worried bout the Music thing. Have to lean on God so much for this. There are people that are so much more musically inclined! But I beleive God made me for such a time like this! I'm gonna step into it and let His light shine! Shine Jesus Shine! Woo Hoo!

Going home now. Got prayer meeting. Speak today Lord. Just wanna spend some quality time with you Lord! Your're my strength! My source! My redeemer! Where would I be without you Lord? Love you so much. So So much.

Bali...

2006-02-06T03:13:00.000-08:00

The bunch that had a party of a time in bali! Boy was it a good time...

Brain Freeze!

2006-02-06T02:50:00.001-08:00

Have you ever had so much in your head that you feel like you just want to explode? Well...it really feels like that now.

I'm really torn right now. Yesterday church was good. But here I am contemplating going into the church full time. Well it can't happen immedeatly. I have a lot to settle in terms of getting someone to replace me at work. But work is jut really good right now.

Am leaving for Penang at 7.30 am trow. Means I have to leave here by 6 to be at the airport. Sigh. Come back on the last flight out and have to leave on the first flight in on Wednesday to Sarawak. Back on thursday. Then Saturday it's off to Kuala Terengganu. This week is going to be long. And then it's 6 days in Sawarak starting from next wednesday. It's just crazy. But so much to do.

I'm really glad Clarissa is back at work, at least the budgets and all will be taken care of. Paperwork won't be so heavy and I can concentrate on the Projects and putting them together. And I suddenly have diarrhea now...man must be the maggi mee goreng I had for lunch.

Benny's dad died. He's on his way back from Japan. Poor thing. Will go over to Rawang later and visit him. Benny must be just torn apart. He's not just a supplier. He's become a good friend. Someone who is going through a lot. But I hope he feel better now.

Mano's weding is coming nearer. With all this traveling it's also quite hectic to keep thingking about that. But it's a once in a lifetime thing. So I must be there for her. See to it that all the loose ends are tied up. It's hard. Really hard. She is wuite stubborn and just won't see it any other way. Well, I guess God is the only one that can get to her. Mummy is quite stressed too. She looks so harried. Guess everyone's tension is just so high now. Hope all goes ok once the relatives start arriving and stuff get busier.

Which brings me to my question. Where does my future lie? Corporate world and be a preacher? Or go full time. I won't lie that I'm not afraid. I know my future is in His hands. And I have no doubt whatsoever that He will show me the way. It' just a bit lonely now. I wish I had someone I could speak to that really knows what I'm feeling like. Peter has been a real help. Thank God for bringing him into the office. He has been a good person to talk to. But I guess I want to hear from God straight. I have asked Him and am waiting for a reply. I think Sarawak is going to be my alone time with Him. When I am sitting there on the deck of lamin dana next to the tellian river in sarawak, I think I'll be able to hear him clearly. So Lord, speak. Your servant is waiting.

On another note, also a contributer to the brain freeze. Met with Sham on Sat night. Spoke about the she getting married situation. I guess I said my peace. And am sure she undertands. It will take some time to get used to the idea. But I will. And I may just end up going for the wedding after all. But its gonna get some getting used to!

Miss terence boy. He wasn;t free when I was, and I wasnt free when he was. Need to sit and talk to that boy...it's been to long.

In the mean time by head feels so heavy from all this thinking. Lord. I'm waiting. Speak.

Brain Freeze!

2006-02-06T02:50:00.000-08:00

KL Pac and stuff

2006-01-26T02:17:00.000-08:00

Went to check out the KL Performing Arts Centre for an event...nice place. Could very easily do my wedding reception there...if I knew who I was getting married to! he he he... Lots of glass, natural lighting a nice outdoor venue...man would be cool. Sms-ed Sham and told her thats a nice place to do the wedding...but I guess she's looking at different places as there was no reply. still havent decided if I'm going for the wedding or not. Well people might look at me funny coz a lot of them actually knew we were together...and contrary to public opinion, I'm not that thick skin... well see first lah...see my mood arounbf august...lets see whether i'm in town or not first!

It's angie's brithday tomorrow. they are celebrating in loft tonight...Don't thinkI'll go...think the age is cathching up...don't like these loud places anymore...but it is Angie...so I might just send some flowers over tomorrow or something. Or give her the massage coupon! he he....

Man my butt is aching... so much of work today I'm just sitting here and typing typing typing...had to run to the studio and get them to ammend stuff all.. think i have to run around a little and make some noise.

Kancil girl is still here so I might just kacau her kau kau...but poor thing...she sat through a 4 hour meeting today...but Nokia, here we come! Speaking of Nokia...the N70 looks real nice...he he he...

My sis' wedding is on 25th Feb. Looking forward to that. Need a nice female MC to partner me. Someone who I got Chemistry with. Shoby isn't that bad I guess. Have to audition her first...he he he...

Man this week has been really long days in the office...poor peter...he has been working away real hard too...glad to have a good Christian in the office...really helps...and keeps me in check also...our lunch conversations are quite good too...talk about God's will and our lives and his life and all that...

Meeting the bucnh at grand city for our regualr session. yay...I finally get my bali pictures...that's going up soon! he he he...

ok finishing up here and gonna run out. Poor Kancl girl..she's still working...anyway...I'm outta here!

Party on People!

New year,new look

2006-01-26T02:03:00.000-08:00

Well its one more day to CNY. Can't wait for the holiday...it's been a really long 2 weeks. Feels like a month already! Chose my songs for Sunday...it's gonna be great! Got "Salvation is here" ...I love that song...hope it goes well with the people...just gonna commit it to God and let Him take control.

My friend li sun (in the blue sari below) got her hair died for some photo shoot in Nona magazine or something...when I saw her that night...I was like woah...she looks like some funky japanese girl. There were like 4 colours on it - light brown, blonde, streaks of red and a darker brown. I mean i was really proud of her. Finally she had done something really bold and so unconventional. Well maybe it didn't really suit her...but what a refreshing look and change! But of course li sun being li sun was freakingout like nobody's business! I mean she was DEVARSETASTED...the exact way she pronounces it. And almost in tears...the last I heard she had already dyed it back to black. Well, black hair suits her and she looks quite attractive with black hair...but I tell you... she should have at least kept it for a month or so...but I guess that's why I am me and she is she lah...

Have been slowly establishing my new look too. I'm wearing corduroy pants and a cotton chinese top to work today...think I really like cotton. It's cooling and nice and establishes my new look very nicely. Have to gradually concert my wardrobe to cotton and earthy tones.

Finally sent NSA an email. It was a general one... to all those who attended Anushia's thingy... but the what I said...i expect a reply very very soon...he he he...can't help it if I have the power! :)

Pastor Dan is leaving the church to another one in Sri Hartamas. So a lot of work is being spread out. He has asked me to head the Music ministry...its gonna be a challenge but i guess with God's help all things are possible! I'm kinda excited about that... and already I have some ideas...but with all my traveling that's gonna start soon...sigh...God I'm leaving it up to you. You take control!

To be continued...