Truth in the inward parts

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Psalm 51 : 6

Behold, you desire truth in the inward parts
And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.

This is part of one of my favourite psalms. It's a psalm of repentance after David had done something really wrong with Bathsheba and killed her husband in battle. Huge acts of Sin, yet the Lord forgave Him, but not without the consequences of David's action.

Being true to yourself is something really really important. Many just live their lives just going day to day without really knowing who or what they really are. God asks us to be true. To be honest. To be that one person, whoever we are.

I find myself constantly having to make sure that what i do and why i do it is for the real reason and the right reason. Recently I've made some mistakes. Not stuff I'm proud off.
I think the biggest lesson God is making me learn is so that i don't make the same mistake again. Walk true to Him, in obedience to Him and with integrity and truth of character. You have made me to learn Wisdom in the innermost part Lord. Thank You.

I've hurt some people. People that I'm very close to. There's an empty feeling inside. How is it that you mean the best and yet what actually happens comes out horribly wrong.

Emptiness is a horrible thing. Makes you question a lot of things. Makes you want to do a lot of things. But that verse speaks so clearly yet again. In the hidden parts. The parts that people don't see. The parts of your mind, soul and spirit that only you and God see. Wisdom there will make so much difference. If not in wisdom, folly and hurt are sure to follow. Pain, abandonment and such tragedy.

I think of Bathsheba's husband. Uriah. He was so loyal to David. Refused to even go see his wife but chose to stay in the castle grounds to be near his King. So much of sacrifice, so much of loyalty and devotion. And David kills him. Not by his own sword, but he could just have done the same. How could David? How could he have done such a horrendous crime? Against someone who loved him so deeply?

It's so easy to point the finger at David. But sometimes we do the same. There's no wisdom in the act...and sometimes we are so blind to crime that has been committed. It takes a Nathan to point it out. And call a spade a spade.

That moment of realisation is a scary thing. To realise the consequences of our action. Action not by thought, but by some outlandish will that seems so odd that it actually originated from within us. It's so scary to think what could actually be inside us, and comes out without knowing.

Repentance means to turn around 180 degrees. Not to do it again. Never. Walk away from that action never to have it stain your hands with blood again.

I need to be healed. And I pray healing for all those hurt too. Only the love of God. The redemptive power of a love that has no measure, can begin to heal. Lord Jesus, let your healing begin.