Sham & Stuff

Remember I told you that I should stay away from Sham? well...that was a bit hard.

Met her after her Rotaract meeting last night. Had supper with sham, li sun, steven and irene. Was nice seeing them. It's been so long since I saw Steven. He looks like he's got a whole lot on his mind. Said that money was tough and he's barely getting by. This boy has got potential. But he's a rolling stone. Wish he would stay long enough to grow and mature somewhere.

This was the first time sitting down with Irene though. She kinda nice. Speaks well. Spoke to her about pumps and marketing and all. They kinda suit each other.

This oldish man came and did those street peddlar thing. Malay man about 50. Spoke impeccable English. Had a brilliant sales spitch and actually spent time explaining his products etc. Was quite taken up by him...very polite but well rehearsed pitch. Would make a good salesman, if his products weren't so crappy. Bought a lighter for terence. Joanne might not like it but hey...it was quite cool.

Ok then sent li sun psycho home. She so cute lah this girl. Then sent sham home. And there we sit in her porche, being feasted upon by mosquitos the size of singapore, until 3.30 am! We were reminiscing about the 3years plus we were together and the stuff we did together, the holidays we took. Was really nice. Yes yes...the emotions are still there. But the fact is, it will never work out! There is no future for us together! Adn there's Andreas in the picture. She says she loves him diferently than how she loved me. Or loves me. She siad it twice yesterday. Yeah...and I said it too.

Man, she used to call me sweety. Then Andy boy called and she called him sweety, I almost died inside! It's that kind of crushing feeling. Totally squeezing your heart and lungs that you just cant breathe for 3 seconds. Didnt know she still made me feel that way. What do I do to get over this girl?? HAd lunch with her today. She was meeting the interesting Jennifer Thompson for breakfast interview. We went to souled out. It felt so comfortable. Its just so nice be by her side and have her next to mine. A very warm and peaceful feeling.

But I cant let this continue. It's not healthy at all! Not for our relationship as friends. Not for my promise to her that I wont come inbetween Andy and her. She dropped a huge bomb last night. Said Andy is planning to marry her in July next year. In a hindu ceremony. What's wrong with these foreigners that they don't understand the spiritual signifcance of all this. And says he is a christian. WEll he lost his mum. and says she's his angel...i guess I can only imagine what its like to lose your mum.

Speaking of which I'd better call her. Need to spend more time in Ampang lah. But when I'm there Ic ant wait to go back home...ok I've digressed.

Meeting Sham and li sun for dinner later. Then watching Constantine with Rachel, Reggie and 2 others. Have to keep my eye open about that movie. Don't let the devil put his ideas in my head. Anwyay...kinda sleepy especially after the lack of sleep the last fe days. Man U played badly lah. And that goal could have been avoided. but lets see in Italy how they play against AC Milan. hopefully ruud will be sharer and ronaldo can send in those crosses. BUt CHelasea seems to be losing it. Lost to barca. Lets hope Man u can capitalize and jump over them in the league.

Man I'm sleepy.

It got me thinking

Last night's home gorup was about moving away from our comfort zone. And not being aftraid of doing what God wants me to do. I thought we had quite an in depth discussion.

Until I sent Reggie home. Then we talked. I understand now that I have a major responsibility. What I say, what I do, it has to reflect my testimony. I can't be making statements that are not edifying...because it affects people. It plays a huge role on what people think of me, and in what capacity am i saying what I'm saying.I can just be a friend, but I'm also a home group leader. And maybe soon, a deacon. That is if God wants me there.

It almost feels like a huge weight on my shoulders. The constant need to be reflective of Christ's love and light. Read a devotional about even when we are not feeling 100%, God's light is still shining thru us. And others see it. Even if we don't. Which made me ask the question: Can others see the light in me? Am I really shining this light of God? My conversation...needs a lot of work. The tongue is sharper than a two edged sword the bible says. But I am a work in progress. God is still doing a whole of of things in me.

Reggie. Well. When we were talking, I could see her struggle. Her willingness to do God's will and her difficulty to in other areas. But one thing is for sure. She so wants to do His will! And that simple childlike innocence that she has when she talks about Jesus. It's amazing to see. I know the Holy Spirit is going to use her. To raise her to greater heights. She has a destiny...but I wonder why she has trouble seeing that. Guess i was once there too. Though I'm not sure where I'm going to end up...but I know my future is in His hands...and what beter hands to be in than the creatos of the Universe! Cool man. And He's got an amazing sense of humour! I can just burst out laughing about some things I tell you!! Well. It will be interesting to see where God takes her...Really glad God brought her into my life though. He's teaching me so many things through this precious girl!

Which got me asking another question. The next home group. Is this really what God wants? Anna has said ok to be assistant HGL. Now Juiny must say ok. Meeting him on Saturday mroning for breakfast. Hopefully there will be something. Praying about that. Let His will be done.

Man...kinda bored today in the office. And Encil Sulong said I'm putting on weight. Getting kinda disgusted looking at my fat in the mirror!! Ok ok...I gotta get this exercise thing going...!

women

JA came over to the office today. She's leaving the clients' fold. Bitter sweet about that. Ever since the whole car incident its just been really weird. Well she's decided not to be my friend anymore and has cut me off. Well...she's cut me off once in the past before and I guess she is a very adament person. Once she decides, she decides. Funny. For a people person like me, I still have no idea how to react around her. Granted it was this huge misunderstanding...one that could have cost me my job. Which I thank God I still have! But I guess God has His plans for the whole thing. Would still like to be her friend though. But I guess I gotta respect her decision. In a way its been good. So all the interaction with the client has purely been client-agnecy interaction. But I kinda miss the talks we used to have.

Sham is taking the preseidency. Poor girl. Probably had a major dilemna between that and the Andy boy thing. Gotta admire her passion for the Rotaract club. But think she needs to start working again soon. Hopefully she finds something. Something she likes. She can be so passionate about something and then blow so cold when she loses interest. Have to stay away fromt his girl :o) Everytime we meet there tension in the air. She needs someone around her. What's with it with this girl that I have such a soft spot for? Guess that will just go over time. It has to. And I guess it is fading. Just remind me never to be alone with this girl. It doenst help that she drops things like nobody's business. Hope she's happy with Andy boy.

Brownie. Well...I'm so glad she's taking it the right way. Comes with maturity I guess. Think we just rushed that whole thing. And mummy calling her my akka was just a bit too much to handle! I jump to fast I guess. Without realizing where I'm gonna land and if I like the area I've landed in. Well it looks like we're gonna be alright friends. Friends...we're just getting there. Thank God it didnt get like Swimfan! Now that movie sent shivers down my spine!!

SC. Now this is a quandry. Yes ...no...maybe...It's interesting yet devastating at the same time. There is a possibility. But ...one of my all time problems...she's attached. And he's a nice guy. BUt man...she really deserves someone better. So much of love in that one perosn. And such genuine care and concern. Don't want to screw that friendship up. Leave it in Gods hands then.

Reggie. Well. Hopefully she opens up and tells me what's been bothering her. Till then...what else can I do?

it's been a while

Ok ok...I know I've been away. its been a few months since my last confession...err...I mean my last blog.

A lot has happened. Chrsitmas, New Year, events with elephants, more events...my wonderful Perth holiday...and now I'm back at work.

Working on this CSR programme for my client. Its really in the bulldogs. Have to survive there somehow. ITs an hour off Taiping. near the coast. Gonna be there for a week. Doing the planning now. No internet, no shops, not even coverage for my maxis mobile. I'm just incommunicado for a week! Sigh...

Plus side is its by the river...so i guess I can finally figure out how to fish. err...city boys and fishing are quite far...but I guess I can do anything there. Kuala Gula, here I come!

My Perth holiday was lovely. Did some things I've never done before in my 29 years. Took a river cruise. A wine tour. Drank various types of Aussie beer. Various kinds of wine. Sat in the park. Swam in ice water...yes, it was really really cold water. Never saw so many white people in short skirts before. BUt they all dress the same...he he he

Quite comfortable at Ayesha Harben and Assoicates. Looking forward to spme nice projects. Ok people around me...so it is fun.

Next week is my church's AGM. I'm nominated as a deacon. Wow...big responsibility. But I'm leaving it to God. Let him take care of it. If he wants me in. I'll be there.

Thinking of moving home groups also. A youth home group. but dont wanna leave the present one. Really nice people here. And the friendships are quite hard to let go off. but I guess I wont be letting go..just not seeing them as often. Still praying about it. Juiny has to take over though...he seems a little reclutant...dunno why. Must sit down and talk to him.

Regina seems upset with me...dunno why still. Was extra careful not to upset her...guess I'll just have to wait for her to alk to me about it.

Been hanging out with shobes and sangee and jaco and rannet...its kinda fun. nice people, good clean fun.

Prayer group is so exciting...just can't wait to see what God's gonna do next. It's an amazing journey. Watch this space!